Life and death go side by side

Last night, I was reading a collection of essays by Mieko Kamiya, titled"Gaze of Caring" in Japanese. It was regarding mainly her experience as a psychiatrist at a leprosy sanatorium after the WWII. As she often did, in her essays in it, she compared our life to travel in impressive way. She has observed the patients as a doctor and stood close aside as a fellow traveler in life to them as well. Most of them have been burdened with leprosy which was not treatable those days or, in later years, kept them inpatient due to its complications until their death even after treatment became available.    

I was again moved with her attitude toward the patients. The patients were facing to apparent meaninglessness of life and death. All she could do was just listening to what they said. With heart problem, she was also confronting to death by herself. In later years of her life, she must be feeling just adjacent to death. However, she also noted some of such patients had made their lives glowing with such as composing poetry or serving others with some daily routine duties.

When I first read her essays and other works in my young days, I was on the side of her as a doctor. But at this age, I feel much closer to the position of the patients now. Life is a travel, no doubt about it. When we stand on the side of people facing to difficulties in life, the perspective becomes quite different from that as a care giver. Kamiya must have felt being on the side of the patients when writing these essays because of her health issues. Her coronary artery problem has eventually made her die later. 

Kamiya's simple biography is here.

Talking about the close relationship of life with death, I recall of the renowned composer, Toru Takemitsu. I might have mentioned of it before but he has told to Seiji Ozawa in a dialogue with him that life had been side by side to death for Takemitsu. Actually, Takemitsu has had an autoimmune disease as well as a cancer in the last years of his life. The latter has taken away his life at age of 65 years. His idea of the close relationship of life with death was memorable somehow. It was about 20 years ago around the time of his death when I read that dialogue. His words were deep in my mind. 

It was Takemitsu's 26th anniversary of passing yesterday. Mass media seem to have forgotten this anniversary of this great composer. 

One of his drama music I love so much.

A music of Sehnsucht

 A couple of days ago, a TV program of NHK Symphony Orchestra concert was on air. The main program was the 3rd symphony in F major by Brahms. It was held on 21st last month. I was surprised the hall was almost full of the audience. In this pandemic era, it might be a subject of argument if such an event should be held or not. There might be, however, quite some people who would be indulged in such a music.

When I joined the university orchestra, they practiced this symphony. In the summer camp of the orchestra, the tune of the 3rd movement has flown out of the window. I was doing with cello as a beginner in the garden as the other freshmen/women were doing. Like this;

I might have posted this photo before. The guy standing on the right was a senior student who had taken the seat of chief cellist in the orchestra for a few years. His father was a composer while his sister a professional violist. I have been repeatedly practicing bowing/scale/simple etude tunes all the time, while the senior members were playing that symphony in the hall in the back on this photo.

At the concert held at a hall close to our university, I was not on the stage but was asked to record the rendition. A big tape recorder of 38 inch variety was set at a recording room at the innermost and highest place in the hall. Everything was ready. 

Starting with the vigorous 1st movement, it has proceeded to the 2nd and then the 3rd movement. The nostalgic and yearning theme was played by cello. In the explanation of this music by the visiting conductor John Axelrod. He told this music expressed a dark romanticism. The theme of this movement is typical for that. It is depicted as Sehnsucht in German as he said. The spirit of yearning, desire and nostalgia. I fully agreed with his explanation. There should not be any word which depicts the spirit of this movement and the symphony itself more properly. The 4th movement is a swirling passion possibly rendered by the syncopated melody. So exciting that I could not stay in the recording room. I got out of there and sat on an audience seat in order to listen to it directly not through the microphone. Down the line, it started getting calmed down and finished in pianissimo. This style of ending the symphony is so impressive and reminds the audience it is a music of dark romanticism, or of Sehnsucht.  

The concert sure brought me back to that old days. What a valuable and unforgettable time in my life! Even though I was not aware of that then. 

This is the CD I often listen to;

Long COVID and complications

 It was a serious news even though it had long been suspected from the nature of COVID19 being systemic vasculitis. In a word, some parts of the patient are liable to cardiovascular diseases earlier in their lives possibly in severer manner. 

The article in a recent issue of Nature; here.

The cohort was followed up for a year. They should be observed further before this finding is concluded as a sequel of COVID19. 

The pathophysiological findings of brain fog has been reported in the same journal last fall. It was quoted here in this blog. It has been turned out to be endothelial apotheosis with the viral infection. It could be an expression of vasculitis in the brain.   

The long term sequel of this viral infection should be focused on by the administrative authority and/or the government as well as the people themselves. It could be a burden not only for the patient but also for the society as demand for social security. A WHO related organization, European Observatory on Health Systems and Policies warns that; here. 

From UK, a report on the incidence of long COVID in childhood/adolescence was reported; here.  The follow up period is relatively short, that is, 3 months in this study. But the fact that more than 30% of the cases have been symptomatic and quite some portion of them have had neurological issues should be directed attention to since they are on the process of growth and may have issues in the future.

For a journal for ordinary people, Scientific Americans also published an article which announces to pay attention for the long COVID in the Omicron variant epidemic; here. 

The Omicron variant has milder symptoms with relatively low mortality so far. The high peaking prevalence rate could jeopardize the medical care system as happens in some big city areas in Japan right now. In addition to the on going devastation in the medical care systems, this long COVID due to the pathophysiology of vasculitis should be carefully observed. 

It is also noted vaccine is thought to alleviate long COVID if not perfectly. It is amazing some people still trust in the fake on vaccine, such as its ineffectiveness or even its harm to us. The long term safety of the vaccine is not completely established yet. It is almost an issue of rhetorical perspective such as events totally unknown to us yet. But they proved not to be harmful so far since it was introduced in clinical settings. Considering of the long sequel, vaccination should be given to everyone as soon as possible as scheduled. 

In the day of snowfall

Yesterday, we have had some snow in the morning. It was wet and heavy snow, which almost melted away by noon today. It was good to see everything hued white outdoor. Maybe, because I did not need to go for work. It could be a problem for my wife to commute to her office on the icy roads.

The farm next to our garden and the forest over it ahead in the south were also covered with snow. It sure brings me back to the days of sanatorium where I was born. It had snowed more frequently those days than now. One of remarkable memories was the walk from the maternity hospital to our home at age of 4 years when my brother was born there and father took them back home on a bicycle drawn cart in the snowed field. It was snowy all over. I walked hard even though I might get on the cart on the way. It was terribly cold in the atmosphere but still a warm and fond memory in my life. I have already written about this story elsewhere. 

I have received an envelope from a guy in Sonora California not familiar to me today. On the envelope, he wrote the content, that is, his QSL card with a photo and a letter, was from Peter KN6BI. He also noted Peter had been suffering from lung cancer receiving radiochemotherapy.

The note from Peter told he had met me at a top of a hill in the San Francisco peninsula overlooking the Bay. Maybe, in my first visit to Bob W6CYX with Hide JH0FBH in 1984, Bob has taken us there. Bob has erroneously had the car locked maybe forgetting the key inside. He has asked for help with the handy transceiver. It was Peter who replied to him and came to help us. I could not recall how Peter looked like. But I together with the other two have appreciated his kindness. With his help, we could leave there for Bob's home in Mt. Hamilton.   

Thereafter, Peter said in his note, he had heard me often mainly in the QSOs with Bob. Peter was running QRP and could not get answer from me. If his antenna had been a bit better, I might have heard him. It was deeply emotive that he had listened to us chatting for years. Bob is not active any longer but our very last one in the FOC event in the beginning of this month has been counted as 1254th. Peter has tuned in to us for some time without our knowing that. 

He enclosed a photo taken in San Francisco in 2011. A group of birds are flying before a brick wall. This might be a memorable photo for him. I felt the moment this photo had captured lead us to eternity. 

I closed the reply mail to him saying let's try to have a QSO after his finishing successfully the treatment and coming home. Even though the conversational CW is almost dying. We might be the last and most proud generation to enjoy this way of communication.

 

Falling prey to "Amazon Business" again

My old reliable and favorite Sony headphone has been broken at the part connecting the head band to the ear piece. I have used that old one for almost 20 years and have given it up soon. It was not a high end model but has had broad audio range, especially the prominent higher range, and pretty good localization of instruments or parts in an orchestra. With deteriorated hearing in high audio range due to aging, the accentuated higher range was favorable for me. I often listened to chamber music and localization of instruments is quite essential factor to enjoy them.

Anyway, having forgotten about the experience of "Amazon Business", I have erroneously ordered a comparable model of Sony to "Amazon". The bargain price, almost 20% off from the normal one, was also attractive. I was in a bit anxiety to order it by internet without actually listening with it. But my desire to listen with it has put it out of sight then. I have not been cautious if the advertisement told "used" or not. Maybe, there has been a note telling it was a used one. Possibly at a hidden corner of the ad. Later, when I realized of the fact it was a used one, the ad had been already gone away and it was impossible for me to confirm of that.

The headphone Amazon sent to me was clearly a used one. A lot of scratches and injuries on it. The thin cloth in front of the driver was torn. The cordbush spring was out of the place of the plug. It sounded OK at least. But I have decided to return it to Amazon. I was angry at the sender of course but was more angry at myself being cheated with "Amazon Business". It seemed Amazon itself has sold it. And I fell prey to it again. What stupidity!   

I still need a headphone to listen to such as Bach, Brahms or Faure at night. Their music makes me calm down and leads me to the land of dream. I would purchase a Sony model from another reliable internet retailer. Amazon is told to have gained the most profit among GAFA. Possibly the biggest companies in the world. It might be possible at the sacrifices of the poor victims like me. 

Tonight, I would go to sleep using 2nd best headphone of Audiotechnica. Listening to a chamber music by Faure.

W4BQF and W4WJ

For the past several days, I have received sad news on a couple of my friends' passing. 

Tom W4BQF used to be active on 40m in our late afternoon to early night hours. Using a key board, he sounded an excellent CW operator. His signal was outstanding from Florida even with a dipole. It was from '80s through '90s when we often talked. His proficiency on CW and pretty good signal from a wire antenna have been impressive to me. 

The other person was Don W4WJ. I have known him rather recently. From '16 through '18, we have had a number of great chats. We have shared the same friend, Dale W4QM, who used to be one of his sponsors for FOC back in '70s. Don used to be a broadcasting engineer and has moved, after retirement, to Texas in 2006. I might have met him long before but it was the first time for us to have a long chat in '16. It was turned out that we knew Dale W4QM well each other as written above. As soon as we finished that long ragchew, Don gave a land line call to Dale. Dale used to be an active FOC member but has moved to be an Associate member several years before. Dale told him he had had shingles on the hand running a keyer and could not operate radio. Dale went SK a couple of years ago. And so did Don this year.

This photo shows Don standing and Dale sitting on the operation position taken when Don visited Dale in 1974. Young enthusiastic ham radio operators. Don's t shirt has the logo of FOC, which, as Don told me, had been drawn by a painter girl friend. It means how CW as well as FOC was important for Don in his young days. 

 When I uploaded this photo in Facebook a few years ago, a lot of friends gave comments to it saying they had known them also. I have talked to Dale often when he was in VQ9 as VQ9QM in late '80s, I believe. In the height of the solar cycle those days, when I told him I had needed VQ9 for 80m DXCC, he kindly moved there for a QSO and almost on the same day, from 40m to 10m all opening at the same time. Crazy conditions and a really nerd DX chaser those days. 

Too sad to have lost such an operator as well as a good friend. But they have run through their travels on the earth. Now they are resting in another good place, i believe, without anxiety or worries. Wishing them RIP from the bottom of my mind. 

A zelkova tree

We have had a tall zelkova in the same property between our house and another which my parents used to live. It was too hot for my parents to live there during summer months. And we have planted a young zelkova tree, 2 or 3 meters high, before our parents' house to protect from the harsh sunray almost 40 years ago. It has grown so big and branch lopping has been necessary for a few times. This kind of tree won't require that procedure but could have naturally showed a beautiful form if it were planted at a large place but not a house property like ours. It has worked, though, as a heat protection tree for that long time.

This picture was taken in the fall 7 years ago. The branches had been grown even bigger than this. There were fallen leaves on the roof of the building late in fall. We started worrying it could fall down on the house by high wind etc some day. After contemplating of cutting it down for a long time, we have concluded to do that at present. The gardener whom we have asked to do gardening for the past years told us he could do it. It was finally felled down by him yesterday. 

At my age, I feel sad to part from something especially if it is something alive. Guilty to fell down a tree because of putting an end to its life.  Sooner or later, however, we should leave here for somewhere else or even for heaven. Separation is inevitable. Just like my parents having lived for decades. 

We should be pleased to be able to plant flowers or bushes of trees in the place where that zelkova tree has occupied. Life is still going on even if something is lost.