My father's 17th anniversary

 It was my father's 17th anniversary yesterday. As they say those who passed away are estranged in our mind soon, his memory is getting more and more vague year by year. Especially all after I have discarded his diaries and books for the past few years. Sooner or later, he will be forgotten by anyone in the world. In fact, detailed memories on him are being lost even in my memory. 

I still remember how he has struggled through the war time and thereafter raising his family. I have written about his life elsewhere in this blog. He was not flawless in his character as a person, I know, but was still eager to raise his children including myself in the poverty after the WWII. 

Maybe, I might have uploaded this photo taken at the sanatorium at very this place in 1953. My father is in the center of the 1st row. My sister on his left. I was between his knees. As described before in this blog, it was a tuberculosis sanatorium which our aunt had started during WWII. At that time, no medicine was available for the treatment of tuberculosis. Tuberculosis was an illness destined to death those days. In the belief in Christianity, our aunt, in the center of the 2nd row, has founded this small facility at this place in this countryside. My parents have known each other and got married there. 

In a year or two, my father has decided to go to Tokyo with the family. I still remember my tiny tricycle has been taken to a truck bound for Tokyo one day. Without that move, I might have spent as a farmer in this area. His efforts must be rewarded with his 3 children grown to be medical professionals in Tokyo, if it is questionable that I have been one to be praised at all.   

In his retirement, he has come back to this place and has plowed and reclaimed here. It was at least an indirect reason why we had been settled down later. It might be the most peaceful days for him in his last years surrounded with family members and friends here. I often regret I might have had a lot more to do for him while he was alive. But his very last years have tortured him with viral hepatitis due to blood transfusion done in his young days for his gastrectomy and eventual liver cirrhosis/cancer. He was hospitalized at a tuberculosis ward at a hospital 30 minutes drive from here. I have visited him once a couple of days. In the very last day, when he has developed hematemesis possibly due to ruptured esophageal varix, I have spent an hour in my lunch break hours. He was telling me they would give transfusion to him, which he hated before from his experience with transfusion hepatitis. He looked helpless looking after me leaving the room. I could not forget him looking that way. Why haven't I stayed with him for a night? They say the last sense we hold at the end of our lives is tactile sense. I should have rubbed him with my hand until he could fall asleep. And I should have stayed beside him when he was going through the last moment of his life. It is a regret which has come on to my mind ever since.

I was pulling the weeds in the garden farm remembering of him today while it was not rainy. He used to do that with a sickle of long handle. It sounded clicking. I could hear that early in the morning those days. For a while, even though I don't know if I could see him again in the phase of eternity or not, wishing to be able to do so, I would do the same work as he did. 

Beauty in the style

Several days ago, when I knew the bands were getting better with the improved solar activity, I started calling CQ on 40m around our sunset or even a little bit earlier. It has been my favorite band at the best hours in a day. I have started ham radio on that band and got on it around that time when I came home from school. I was a teen age boy. 

I was called by a US guy who could hardly converse on CW, even though he told me QSB made it for him tough to read me. Otherwise, the band has been silent and no one has ever called me while I went on calling CQ for 30 or 40 minutes. 

Calling CQ with the paddle, Begali, a gift from Bill W6QR, I was thinking of old timers in the past, whom I could not hear any longer. Some went SK while the others got inactive possibly due to their age or health issues. W6JAL, W6VIJ, W6CMY, W6VTK,  WA6IVN and so forth. I could name dozens of them if I am asked. Surprisingly many guys have gone away. They are still in my memory as if at scenes of a movie or on a kaleidoscope. Whether they were night owls or early birds, they came on and chatted with me for a while and then went off. That is the way we enjoyed CW from '60s through '90s.

Giving up 40m, I came on 20m later at night. Rod K5BGB has given me a call. The same style of keying as in '80s when we used to talk on 40m early in our evening hours. He has moved to a house 10 years or more ago where he could put up only a low G5RV. We could scarcely talk on 40m like we used to in '80s or '90s. He told me he had still kept a sked with Maurie VK3CWB on 40m, on 7003KHz at 1230Z every Friday. I have been wanting to check in them but not done yet. This sked has been kept maybe for 20 years or so. His signal at that night was good enough. Rarely making mistakes. I wish it were from his old S line which used to sound so beautiful on CW. 

Anyway, his operation and keying style is unique. Whenever I meet him on this old mode, I could not help feeling beauty in the style both in his operation and in keying. Exactly appropriate pauses between words. It is related with the context. As if punctuation given at the right places in the sentences or in the paragraphs. His style sure convinces me communication on CW is comparable to correspondence. His sentence, whatever it might be related with, is properly punctuated and given pauses. That style always makes me feel fascinated. It is a different world of CW from CW with decoder or computer sending. 

His style is characterized by use of old International or American code. I used to learn in a QSO with him back in '80s that four continuous dashes meant CH. He sent like "CH"EERS or "CH"IAKI, my wife's name etc. These usage of old codes sure have been an aspect of his style, which I loved so much. I don't know of anyone who uses these old code in elegance like he does. This style might sound trivial to some people who emphasize efficiency or speed in commuication. But it sure is a pleasure for me to appreciate that style.

I thought there had been a couple of things for pleasure of CW. One is that reward sensation when we could achieve right expectation for words, content of messages etc. I have compared it with the same sensation in music in this blog. There seem to be findings from psychological as well as brain physiological researches as for the pleasure of music. Hopefully, this simplest tool for communication, CW, would be investigated in the same way as for its pleasure.

The 2nd, and in my belief, the ultimate goal or pleasure of this communication mode is friendship with those CW operators who love this old fashioned mode. It always lasts a long time, mostly, through our lives. It is the basis for pleasure which CW gives to us.

And, this beauty of the style is another esthetic aspect of CW, which attracts me a lot. Listening to rod's smooth and beautiful CW, I was thinking of this last but not least kind of pleasure in this communication mode. Unfortunately, this kind of pleasure is being lost in the actual world.

I still enjoy it in the era when CW itself is becoming extinct. I enjoyed listening to Rod sending "CH"EERS to me in the end of QSO.

Another driving trip to Fukushima

 A couple of weeks ago, I have visited Kotaka district Minamisouma City near the destroyed nuclear plants in Fukushima. I have already gone there a few times in the past. There is a post on one of those trips which I made in this blog 7 years ago; here. 

Two objectives for this driving trip. One is to visit a book store in Kotaka. The other is to trace after the drive with my parents to their friend there. 

What has attracted me to drive to that area is described in the post above mentioned. It was too few times that I took my parents for such a drive while they were alive. Regretting that, I would drive the roads to the place again. I was also wondering if the house of my parents' friend still was gone away there due to the tsunami 10 years ago.

The high way to that area had little traffic. Sometimes drizzly. The mountains in the west were often covered with mist. Like old Japanese drawings. I loved it much. Along the road, however, there were a few radiation measurement displays, one of which showed 2.3μSv/hr. It was above the limit of irradiation to the habitants even in emergency situation. It means the accident has not been under control at all. 

I took off the high way at Namie next to Kotaka. Over a ridge, it took me to Kotaka. In that area, there were a lot of houses not inhabited by anyone with the entrances closed with metal gate, which seemed to have been set later than the accident. There were a lot of signs which said "Uninhabitable area". That sign means they won't be allowed to go on living there. Who has caused it? Who has been responsible for their loss of homeland forever? I could not help feeling vague anger which I didn't know whom I should fling to. This fact in addition to the above normal irradiation around the area should not be forgotten.

There was a place where the house of that lady must used to live. Nothing was left. The ground was flattened without any sign of lives in the past. The scenery was what I had seen 7 years ago. I was curious to know, if that lady might have passed away by now, where her family has gone or even if they were saved in the disaster. A sign close to this place said the tsunami had reached well above the house roof level.   

In my heart, I prayed for those who had been killed in the disaster or at least had lost their home. 

The book store I aimed at is located close to the railway station Kotaka as I have seen before. Very few traffic or people around there. In my last visit, the store was undergoing rebuilding. I could not go into it then. Rebuilding was finished and has made the outlook more like a fancy book store than the previous look as an ordinary house entrance. It is started and managed by a novel writer, Yui Miri, a Korean born and having lived our country throughout her life. For her latest novel titled Tokyo Ueno Station, she has won the National Book Award in the translation genre in the USA recently. The translator is Morgan Giles. It depicts on a homeless man living in Ueno, who has spent his life as one of the lowest class workers in the years of economic development in Japan. She has described his world as if death and life were present side by side. It protests the absurdity of the society causing such a homeless and possibly of the life itself in a quiet touch. I haven't read a lot of her works yet. But, most fascinated at her quiet touch, I wanted to see the book store there, even if not being able to see her. Moving to the town next to the crippled nuclear power plants should be an expression for her to sympathize and collaborate with the people suffering from the accident there.

The street from the station westward. As told above, so few people along there. It may mean only limited number of people have returned this town since the accident and the economy has been depressed ever since.

The beautiful entrance of the store. The name of the store is "Full House" from one of her novels. Yui told elsewhere that she wanted to have the high school students stay there until the train comes to the station. There are very few trains running there. The store is equipped as a cafe where the students could stay taking something to eat and drink.

Neat and clean inside. Beverages or some confection/bread were sold at reasonable price. There are books sorted with the authors in book shelves. Looking around the shelves, I knew it was like a library which Yui wanted them to read. There were a lot of good books, known or unknown to me, which she had selected for young people. Most of the titles were famous or seemingly interesting to be read. 

I was wondering why there were no books of Yui there. There was a corner of her books at the mezzanine floor in the inner part of the store. Each book was with her hand written explanation.

I have got 3 of them. I asked the clerk guy if these books in the shelves had been selected by herself. He answered yes. Complimented with them, I have not missed him showing countenance of pride. 

Feeling satisfied accomplishing the project I had had for a few years, I went back to my home. 

Summer vegetables

With summer solstice passing, it is getting more muggy and wet here. When it doesn't rain, I always go out in the garden farm and care for the grass and the vegetables. A lot of works. Radishes have grown and some of them have been pulled in the farm. Tomatoes are becoming ripe as well. 

Thinly sliced radish with fresh tomatoes were the material of this fresh salad.

I have used the upper portion of the radish for slicing, in order to avoid too hot taste my wife doesn't like. She still told me it was too hot. It really wasn't for me. Another example of different senses of taste possibly genetically determined.

Pork was cooked with egg plants, some of them were harvested from our garden farm. Grated radish was on the dish. Seasoned with soup for noodle, which is quite popular in our country. Vinegar and soy sauce were also added.

The only problem with crops is that they are ripened at the same time. Most of them are not to be stored. I should contrive different menus I could utilize all of them. Rich and generous season is coming up.

A '49er's comaraderie

Tim, W1MKA, formerly, WN2MKA and WB2MKA, is one of the oldest friends through ham radio. I have known him as "a pen friend" since jr. high days back in '60s. I can't remember how I have known him but knew he was a ham radio operator.

We used to try a schedule on 40m later. He would operate W2JTA, his high school club station, while I was running a home brew barefoot with a low wire antenna those days. It was a day in winter, I believe. The band was quiet but his call was not audible at all. Later, I knew it had been impossible for us to work with such a set up on my side if the band condition was favorable to us. In a year or two, we have spontaneously stopped corresponding by mail. 

In 1980, when I came back on the air, I was curious to know how he had been doing. The condition was so good on the higher bands those days. Even with a simple set up, it was quite easy to talk to the East Coast. I asked W2RRN in NY to get in touch with him one day when the band was wide open to the East Coast. He kindly gave a phone call to his home in NY. His mother was on the phone telling him he had moved to TN then. We have exchanged letters once or twice. Graduating from a university, he has been working as an engineer there if I remember it right. He might be involved in his work and had not spent time for radio until he retired.

It was a fall day in 2010 when I had a call from him on 15 or 20m. Slow CW with a bug key. He told me he had got the present call W1MKA recently and used to be WB2MKA. He was settled down in CT enjoying his retirement with boating, "playing cello" and ham radio. I was falling down on the floor from chair. If I remember it right, it has been our only contact on the radio. 

This is his portrait at that time. Even with grey hair...he used to have dark hair in his youth...he looks so handsome.

Ever since, we are in contact, not quite often but in decent interval good enough to prove our existence, by the e mail or comments on my blog. He is a kind of dilettant enough to surprise me with good knowledge of Japanese old poems and to send some of them to me even in Japanese font. He also played cello like I did...

It is his 72nd birthday today. I have sent a birthday message to him calling him a '49er colleague. In the reply to me, he told "Another 72 years to both of us". There are some '49ers in ham radio comrade. It is the generation who competed in the baby boomers in the society and has been interested in ham radio as the king of the hobby in young days. All of us are getting into the last chapter of our lives. Even with the same milestones we had gone through looking similar, we might have quite different lives. Admitting that, I hope to get along year by year in good health keeping in touch with each other either on the radio or by e mail.

Good conditions and a bit of memory back in '90s

 An hour after sunrise yesterday morning, I happened to switch on the radio. Honestly, I scarcely do that nowadays. My garden farm always calls me at that time. Twenty meters was open to both NA and Eu. Calling CQ, I was called by Harry W1AAX. Smooth bug keying. My PC log has not listed him. But I still remembered we had had a lot of QSOs in the last solar cycle or one before that. He told me it had been 12 years since our last QSO.

It was a great fun to talk to him after such a long interval. He sounded to get along well despite of the Corona crisis. He was already fully vaccinated and was resuming normal routine like prior to the pandemic. I told him I had confused him with Roger W1AX, I believe, already in SK. 

After that QSO, I was wondering it was Harry or Roger who came to see me at W1EYT, presently K1YT at my visit there. It was 1992. I was invited by Bill to visit him and make a slide show on the trip to Cambodia. Yes, it was the hectic and ardent days of DXing, which is a good memory but I "would never" do again. There were abouot two dozens of DXers from Mass., CT or somewhere else attending the meeting then. I can't remember what I have talked before them. I have never had such an experience of presentation in English in the past and was terribly nervous at it. 

There were a lot of friends who went SK by now. Such as K1MEM, K5MA and so forth. On asking Bill by e mail which was attending there, Roger or Harry, he was quite sure it had been Roger. Bill told me he would ask about that to Don WB2DND, presently N1DG, who was there also. 

In the reply, Bill has attached a couple of photos in the mail. One of them showed me listening at his station and having a QSO or two as a guest operator. 

I was a bit older than 40 years of age at this time. Still young. No grey hair noted on the photo.

Bill and his family have been very kind to me. They are still living in a suburb of Boston, a beautiful residential area, like a park. We have been good friends ever since then. I always feel thankful to him.

In the next QSO with Harry, I should ask about the old gang we know. 

Years have passed.

 

Learning from a friend's wife passing

Several days ago, a member, W1UU has posted a sad news that the wife of Dave K9FN, Mary, died recently. Several posts expressing sorrow at the news and sympathizing Dave and his family members have followed.

Dave has been a good friend of mine through ham radio for more than a decade. Vic W9RGB used to introduce him to me. Dave has had limitation for the antenna and owns only a flag pole vertical if I am not wrong. Without seeing each other in person, we have talked once or twice in a year. A very pleasant and positive person. Our QSOs should always be not too long due to the conditions. But each of them has been memorable to me.

I have looked up my PC log for record of QSO with him, which told I had last met him this January. I could not remember what we talked then. In the remarks of the log, he told me he and "his wife Mary" were getting along fine.

If I haven't miscopied him then, I wondered what had happened to Mary. She has developed some serious illness or has been on a long lasting down hill with a health issue. I was hesitating to ask about that to him directly. Maybe, some time, I might have a chance to see him and talk about that.

That chance has arrived sooner than I expected. A couple of days ago, he has given me a mail telling he heard me on the air, which was a joy for him, but the poor condition has prevented him from giving me a call. He told me briefly about his wife's passing. He seemed to compensate his loss with ham radio. 

I replied to him with hearty condolences to him and his 3 daughters. And I frankly gave him the inquiry written above. He has quickly given me another mail shown below. 

It was a really touching story to me. We are not immortal. We should get ready for the time of passing. Mary has gone through with it peacefully, even though she and Dave might not have been settled down all the time. Mary and Dave have spent that period in the best way they could. This mail was a real encouragement to me. Recognizing out life is not ever lasting, we should live every moment in the best way. I believe Mary has told us that with her way of living in the very last chapter of her life.  

With Dave's permission, I would quote his mail here.    

 Shin -

Many thanks for your kind words. Mary went down quite quickly. 

On March 8 she had a seizure. She was seated so she did not fall, 

and I was rightthere. That was the first indication that something 

was wrong. A CT scan showed some lesions that looked like cancer. 

An MRI showed about 5 or 6 spots, the largest of which was deep 

within her brain. A biopsy confirmed that it was glioblastoma. 

She had one round of chemotherapy and one round of radiation, she 

also had more seizures. She was hospitalized 5 times within 4 weeks. 

The treatments were very hard on her and led to some internal 

bleeding. The doctors said that if the bleeding did not stop on
its own, surgery was the only hope of saving her, except they felt 

she would not be able to survive the surgery. The bleeding did stop 

and Mary chose to not continue with treatment.

Mary and I are Christian and our strong faith helped us through this
difficult time. Over a period of several weeks we were able to talk 

about some of the great memories we had together, how important family 

and friends were to us, and she encouraged me to stay active on the 

air as she understood how much a part of my life our hobby is. As she 

declined she did not experience pain, but slept more and more frequently.

Of course, I wish we could make more memories together, but the 

memories I do have will be with me for as long as I am still here and 

I cherish them all.

We will work again my friend.

161 de Dave - K9FN