Fabian DJ1YFK has made an application to show us how long an FOC member has spent on the the air throughout a year, that is, exactly speaking, how many times his/her signal has been captured by the skimmers in a year. Since I knew of my data, which was surprisingly long!!, over 2000 hours a year!!, I felt a bit reluctant to do the same thing as before. I don't know why. Possibly, this fact made me consider if it was worth spending such long time for calling CQ without any meaningful QSOs. Actually, it is not rare that I have not got any call for half an hour or even longer. If I should get a call from somebody, it would rarely be a real conversational QSO. It is as if I looked for a jewel on vast beach. My memory of good old days might have made me go on calling CQ. But, now, I have woke up!! and have known it was not worth spending so much time and energy to seek a guy who makes me happy with a meaningful QSO.
This might be related with having the surgery of cataracts recently. This illness could be easily cured with it. However, at my age, any other illnesses of elderly, probably more serious than cataracts, could occur to me any time from now on. I feel I should spend each day in the way I won't regret later.
Secondly, with the better vision, I could read the score clearly like before. I have decided to return to ensemble of piano trio. The pianist and the violinist have kindly waited for me coming back. In 6 days after the 2nd surgery on the left side, I would have a practice with them. Participation to a small concert is scheduled in Tokyo on 31st of this month. What a joy!
I am not depressed or disappointed at this decision regarding reduction of operation hours at all. Rather, I feel I have woke up as I told before. This could be a trick of the senses. Let's see how I would be changed in some time. But I feel this sense of wake up won't be changed so much in any time.
Of course, I won't quit ham radio or CW at all. I still have a lot of good close friends on the air. It is a real pleasure for me to converse with them. Maybe, this "wake up" may change my style of operation from calling CQ many times to just watching the bands and giving a call to close friend of mine. Of course, there could be exceptional situations as well. In good condition, it is thrilling to call CQ waiting for good friends of mine. I would not do calling CQ to no avail for an hour or even longer etc. Surely, I would give a shout to any good friend or a good CW operator.