Again, it was a year of drastic change for me this year. The most prominent thing was that I had finished my private practice this spring, which I had managed as the president for 17 years. It brought me to the state of semiretirement. The reasons to go for this change were multiple. I got eye problem and the other health problems, even though they were not serious. I wanted to go for travelling etc before I got too old to do so. I was fed up with the laborious and often meaningless negotiations with the administrative offices, which had been governed by bureaucracy. Without it, I might have gone on working at my practice a bit longer. Lastly, there was a doctor who would like to take over my work. Even though I still feel lost due to this change, it might be one of the best chances for me to have it taken over by that pediatrician.
I have been asked by ham friends how I had felt in retirement. It has still been a difficult question for me to answer. In a word, I am still ambivalent about it. I feel being lost in a place where I don't belong to anything like own practice. It was anothe big loss for me not to be able to see my old patients. Some of their parents used to be my patients years ago as well. It is comparable to loss of family members that I felt at the loss of patients. At the present part time job in a hospital, most patiens are just new to me. I won't be able to get in close touch with them at all. Being a doctor, especially a pediatrician, must end up in this way.
On the other hand, I could enjoy gardening, doing house chores and preparing dinner almost every day. I realized how little I had done for the family in the past. I would catch it up for now. It has been a pleasure for me. When I feel time passing quietly while working at home, I am sure it would be another chapter of my life for now. It makes me satisfied. In some time, this satisfaction would replace feeling of loss described above.
It is unforgettable memory that I and Chiaki have visited the West Coast in this summer. It has given me a great pleasure to see friends, either old or new, in person. One highlihgt was meeting old Kemp K7UQH, whom I had known since 1960s on radio and had met for the very first time in eye ball. Another old friend, Bob W6CYX and his family as well as Steve N6TT and his family have treated us nicely. The schedule was so tight that we could visit only few places. However, this experience of travelling abroad may hopefully have us plan another one in the near future. As Jim W6YA told me, Visalia in 2014 might be another target. Since I met some new friends in Seattle this summer, each QSO with them like John AK4Z makes me feel more pleasant than ever.
Our country has had the election the other day. It seemed the people were disgusted at the former government. Some of them haven't even gone for the vote. It resulted in the winning of LDP, the conservative party, which had been beaten by DPJ 3 years ago. LDP seems to aim at changes toward the "traditional" conservatism in Japan. In my view, they won't examine themselves for what they had done before they fell down from the dominating party position. As I already told here, they would establish a nation which goes for war abroad in alliance with the US. They would override the fundamental human right of the people, which is the fundamental idea of the modern constitution in the world. In the economy, they are increasing the budget for the civil engineering constructions and aiming at the targetted inflation issuing more national bonds. They won't care for the large amount of the debts of the country. I am afraid it won't go well for us if these policies come true. Just watching what happens.
I have been practising the first piano trio by Mendelssohn with the same violinist and pianist. Our trip and the other chores have prevented us from doing that in regular interval. Since they kindly offer me to go on practising it together, I would go on with it even though my pace is so slow and unstable.
Our family is doing well even though each one has own problems. I am happy to tell you everyone will welcome a New Year being blessed with good health.
I wish you all very best for the holiday season and a New Year as well. My gratitude to every friend for your friendship this year. See you on the air or on the line.
Shin Onisawa
JA1NUT
In this sentences, my idea looks to be tinted with a pessimism. Actually, living in presenile or senile priod is a hard thing. We could not stop looking back.
ReplyDeleteA retiring pediatrician should give up doing with his/her patients even though they were his/her family members. It is a real loss for her/him. I fully understood this from my retiring process.
But I am on the process of compromising with my life. I am taking off successfully and moving toward stable flight even if it were a nighttime flight. I see some storms or thunders in front but may be able to go on this flight thanks to my family and friends.
It takes me a bit of time to transit to that stability.
Shin