After a dream

Finally, the last week of my office is starting now. I am in the last stage for retirement. I have been clearing all the items which have been accumulated for the past 17 years. There were even drafts of medical papers which I wrote in my med school hospital days. Quite a few personal letters or photos also appeared from the mess. About 70% of the mess is now cleard up. An old short timer will hustle toward the end.

As I have repeatedly written, I still have ambivalent feeling toward retirement. I still could go on working as a pediatrician at own clinic. Now, when I decided to go for retirement, I fully understand what my work has meant to me. My life, my love and raison detre itself. Yesterday, I was given a beautiful bouquette by a patien's mother in the outpatient, who had thanked me for my effort for her daughter for years. I was almost crying. It was difficult for me to answer to her. I only told her it was me who thanked a lot. Not so many but quite some patients and their family members showed their sincere thanks to me. I appreciate their words. But it was me who had been made alive in communication with them. I feel that way.

Now it is the time for me to depart for a new life. I will run through this week. On Saturday, we will hold a small luncheon at a local Italian cuisine. I will play "Apres Un Reve" by Faure there. It was the song I played with my wife at our wedding party. What the song tells was not necessarily appropriate fot such an event. But this is the case it fits to the situation. It has been a sweet and enjoyable dream working at own practice with all the satff, rare people of talent and kindness, for the patients. With real appreciation to them, I would play this lovely piece before the staff and a few invitees.

What will come on me after this dream?