Yearning for something lost

I have never paid attention to such as plants or trees in my young days. It was the mid forties in my life when I all of sudden found they were very close to me. Their lives have become so vivid and intimate to me at that time. Looking back that experience, it was coincident to the occurrence of male menopause. Actually, I have had the symptoms of autonomic nerve dysfunction at that time. It meat that I won't have the vigorous energy for life as in my young days any longer. Loss of that energy has made me head toward the other living things. being with the living things, which might live longer than myself, is a kind of relief to me. I was not aware of that. But at the subconsciousness level, I have become more mature at least with this respect.

I sure feel almost the same thing about liking of music. I used to like serious and complicated music in my young days. However, I am inclined to love more of the simpler and lively music nowadays. A few days ago, when going to sleep, I accidentally chose the Nr 5 string quartet by Beethoven, OP18-5, which was composed in his late twenties. Honestly speaking, I have looked down or thought little of those works composed at the same time with the opus number starting with 18.

What a lively, vivid and beautiful music it was! Of course, not like the later string quartets, it was taken the form of the precedent great composers like Haydn. It still sounds vivid and full of joy of music, I should say, or of life. Except for the dramatic OP18-4, I have paid too little attention to the other 5 string quartets of OP18. Emergence of such early string quartets of Beethoven as an absolute attractor to me may be because of the same psychological dynamics, that is, the attraction of young, lively and energetic things being lost by such an old man as me. Just listen to this lyrical and lively music. OP18-3 D major.