In the end of 2022

The year 2022 is going away soon. Having had a nice dinner for the NY Day's Eve with family members, I am settled down at my room listening to St. Matthew's Passion. It is the time for me to leave some sentences reflecting this passing year and viewing the coming year ahead. Hopefully, words of hope. I have been reluctant to do it because all coming up in my mind is something ominous and depriving me of hope for the future.

As for the past years, I have lost good friends and a family member. 

Glenn NN6T has fought against cancer for years. I have been informed about it from him for years. Together with his faithful wife, Susan, he has lived a good life even though he could have lived longer without cancer. We have shared the same friends through ham radio like Ed W7GVE or Kemp K7UQH. I was sad not to be able to hear his vivid fast Morse code on 40m early in the evening. 

Ellen W1YL also has lived her life in her own way. A legendary CW operator and a pioneer in ham radio in the US after WWII. In her last several years, she could operate W7RN through the remote control thanks to Tom K5RC and her other faithful friends. She sounded like a teen age girl operating radio, very vivid and sociable. Even though I have not known her in person for a long time enough to write anything like an obituary, she has been a good company to share the pleasure of this extinguishing hobby of Morse code. She has never complained of her situation and has loved her life independent from anyone. 

Alan AC2K has become a good friend of mine since I met him in person at FOC dinner in Seattle in 2012. A stout looking and sociable guy. Whenever the band was open to NA here, I often could hear him on any bands. Since he moved to Tucson AZ a few years ago, we met a bit less often. He seemed to have enjoyed his retirement there, however. It was a shock for me to hear he had suffered from leukemia in the beginning of this year. He seemed to have had hope for recovery. It was good for him that his family had been with him until the very last moment. I sure missed his vivid and sociable way of operation. 

My father in law was a tender and affectionate person. I owe him so much and am sorry I could not repay him for those things. He was a man of efforts in life. Even thouogh I have not visited him too often in the past, he always welcomed me with that gentle Sanuki dialect, the local dialect of my wife's birth place. Several years ago, when he and his wife have decided to go into a nursing home, I heard from my wife, he has ordered to clean up and to repair their old house. I thought it was in order to prevent from crime to the house where no one was supposed to live. But that house was, I guess, the product from their hard work throughout their lives. After having it cleaned up beautifully, as the last work of his life, he got out of it. 

All of these people have lived their own lives eagerly and faithfully. They are now freed from their worries, anguishes or anxieties. Here, I would say "You have lived good lives. I would follow you in sometime."

One of the biggest changes in my life was that I quit ham radio this August. Honestly, I am unhappy to have left it. Of course, still missing chances to say hello on the air to good friends, I believe everyone should reach the stage of life to say farewell to it, willingly or unwillingly. A lot of friends have told me they would miss me. So did I feel the same way. If such a saying is allowed, however, we may be missing our good old days when we have had great time together on the air. 

I have been told by a few friends that our authority would deregulate the licencing system, which I have thought to be very problematic as I wrote in a post regarding the reason why I quit radio. It might encourage me to return to the hobby. But, so far as I know, the system even after that deregulation is still far from the global standard. Very bureaucratic and having ham radio as a tool for concession for certain people in JARD or in the administrative offices. I thought I would get another licence to renew my call sign before it is allocated to another guy. But so far, I won't do that very soon. In stead, I would write down an article of the reception system of Morse code and the pleasure of communication with it before I get too old. Now quite some people have the same idea but are not perfect in understanding it from point of my view. It is also important to investigate what brings pleasure in that old mode communication and to verbalize it in own words. Without that, this hobby won't be delivered to young people who know how to easily and more efficiently communicate others in the internet.

As you may know from the posts in this blog, my main stage in life is in garden farm, tiney one, and the kitchen. I used to ask myself it was what I should spend this time of my life. But, standing on soil itself has become a pleasure for me. Looming threat of food deficit is another motivation for that as well. Learning about the ecology how the vegetables and plants are growing is stimulating me a lot. It will take me long time to learn how to do farming after the naturel farming method. But I would practice it without chemicals and least fertilizers. It is inwardly satisfying me a lot. It is another pleasure for me to see my wife enjoying the dishes I prepare with the crops from my garden farm.

As a former doctor and a high risk person, I have been studying on COVID19 pandemic. As a trait of RNA virus, SARS CoV2 pathogen has undergone a lot of mutations. Those with less virulence and more infectivity seem to survive and to build a surge world wide. Except for in China and Japan, it seems to have been settled down. Sure hope it goes that way. But who knows? This localization of contagion surge may reflect the hosts' susceptibility. It may change with another mutation strain. They say a lot of mammals species have been infected with this virus, which means there is more reservoir for this virus(es). The reservoir may cause mutations which could occur another pandemic. As you know, zoonosis viruses other than SARS CoV2 which could cause other pandemics amount up to 800000 in the world, they say. Rampant development of nature may free such pathogen(s) invade into human sociey in the future. 

Another concern about COVID19 is that people often neglect the problem of long COVID. In the US, a report says, 4 million people could not go for work due to it. IN Japan, 1.6% of all infected suffer long COVID serious enough to bother daily life activity. I am afraid it could become a burden to the social security in the future.  

I am often excited to read about new findings in immunology/virology, even though I could not catch up all of them yet. Just for fun, I would go on reading papers and books about them. In the phylogeny of SARS CoV2, we are experiencing the real story of evolution. With my rotten ability, I don't know how I could go on studying it but sure will try.  

As for music, no cello practice any longer. With the carpal tunnel syndrome like symptoms subsiding, I may start playing it again. It would be just for own fun but not for ensemble etc. I have been obssessed to practice more and more and to catch up other ensemble members. Now, being free from that obsessive intention, I am rather feeling happy and could enjoy listening to various kinds of music. The song pieces of Mahler and Richard Strauss were good harvests for me this year. Understanding the aria, choir and recitative in St. Matthew's Passion has been a object this year. I am making a bit of progress, even quite slow. With understanding the phrases in it, I could be as if in the scene Jesus had been in the New Testament. I would go it on.

As for politics/economy in our country as well as in the world, I should talk a lot about them. Cutting it short, I guess it is not very rosy. I am afraid there are leaders all over the world who dare to tell lies or conspiracy. And certain percentage of people are resonat with them. I am afraid it is a crisis to democracy. I don't know how to deal with it by myself. Just speaking out whenever I could and am required to. Our government now accumulates liabilities while the BOJ, the main bank, is falling into insolvency. The need for social security is climbing up. But the government decided to double the expense for military expansion. They pretend to strenghthen self defence with missiles reaching the other countries' military bases. They would execute preemptive strikes with those missles. They say we are going into the prewar era from the postwar era. 

I might have pretended to live fairly intellectual life. It is not the reality. I often spend time purposelessly watching Youtube at own room. In the end of the day, I would reflect it. A lazy retiree in a countryside in fact. Knowing my ability, physical and intellectual, is on the way downward, I still try to fill my life with more pleasure.

Our family is doing fine. My wife seems to have decided retiring next year even though the process is tough. Then I might be a bit more free from the duty as the chef, hopefully. I would carry on the journey of life searching more excitement and pleasure.

Thanks for visiting this mannerism blog. I appreciate your comment whatever it might be related with. Wishing all of you a very Happy and Healthy New Year in 1.5 hours.

Shin 

Another osechi braised pork with boiled eggs.

Magnolia is already budding. A bit earlier than usual year. 

New Year Days' dishes

We have a number of traditional dishes for the New Years' Days named osechi. Since both of us have been busy with our profession and later, in my case, laziness in retirement, I have never tried that yet. In this year end, I dared to try a couple of dishes of osechi. One is boiled black beans seasoned with sugar and sake. The other is this dish shown in the picture, sweet chestnut paste, sweetened chestnuts cooked with sieved sweet potatoes. Both materials are the harvest in our home farm. The chef is also home grown 73 years old man. It was a bit laborious but still a fun. My wife enjoys it as a taster.

Honestly, making these dishes, I have had a couple of impressions with these NYDay's dishes. 

One is that it was a fun to cook this one with home grown chestnuts and sweet potatoes. I wish I had not thrown away the chestnuts and had kept them for such a dish as this one.

The other is the opposite. I was almost astonished to see how much sugar the recipe requires to add to this dish. Eating this dish is almost equivalent to eating sugar. I had better cut it down even if I enjoy it for a dessert. It is a poison for such an elderly as me. 

I should have finished the greeting in the end of the year by now, not enjoying such as cooking. Maybe, hopefully, it will be posted before the New Year Day. 

But in case, I couldn't, I wish all of you happy and better year in 2023. Thanks for visiting this blog in a kind of mannerism! 

 

Pork miso soup and Mahler 9th

For dinner, I have prepared this miso soup with pork. It is a popular family dish named Tonjiru in Japanese. Home grown taro and radish were used for the material.

While cooking this and one more, I have run a CD of Mahler 9th at pretty loud sound as if I were at the concert hall. It may not be suitable for a music at kitchen, too serious and emotional. But I like listening such as Mahler, Bruckner or Brahms while cooking.

It was a recording of Berliner Phiharmonic conducted by Claudio Abbado in 2000. It was the time when he had climbed to the top as a conductor in the world. He was diagnosed as gastric cancer in that year, however. I don't know if he knew of that by this recording. Judging from how this serious symphony was diligently played, he must know of that.

His thought sure sounds double imaged with what the composer has thought in composing this piece. Passion, jest and wandering are expressed in the first three movements, which converges into the reconciliation with death in the last movement. As I wrote about it before, the yiddish melody and repeated motif of something like gasping in this last movement present us the mental state Mahler has reached. I don't know if it was the ultimate solution on life and death for him or not. It is still moving us whenever listening to it. 　

Thinking of such a thing, the dishes were ready. The other dish was potato stew featuring home grown potatoes. My wife, coming home at 8 PM, has enjoyed this soup so much. Everything goes peaceful and pleasant. 

Before sleeping, I would listen to this CD again. 

Blue berry leaves turning colorful

 At corners of the fence, fallen leaves and pulled weeds are piled up. It will turn to be compost next spring. It is the main source of nutrients for the vegetables and plants at our garden/farm. 

Yesterday, I was working at one of them in the garden. The beautiful leaves of blue berry bushes came in my eyes. I knew they had been there. But I have not paid much attention to them. It was an unexpected surprise. Among several kinds of deciduous trees here, it must be the tree of the most impressive leaves in gradation in this season.  

As I have iterated in this blog, it is woderful those leaves, hued various beautiful colors, are shining most brightly at the very moment when they are falling on the ground. And they will fertilize the plant with their death. 

In the human society, the opposite things are going on. Elderly pursuing more power and money defeating the others. The system of the domestic as well as the international societies are so complicated that it won't be easy for us to ascribe a lot of troubles, struggles or even wars to a single cause. But the avidity for power and money of those ruling nations may be the basic issue, I believe. Will there be any wisdom to overcome it? Without it, there could be nuclear arm war occurring in the near future. The Ukrainean war has told us nuclear war could be a reality, not just for deterrence of war. 

 

Garland chrysanthemum and Sukiyaki

Garland chrysanthemum, syungiku that means chrysanthemum in spring, is a popular vegetable in winter. I have had a lot of it grown in the garden farm. Despite of, or, thanks to the cold atmosphere for the past few weeks, they have grown well.

As I have least knowledge how to cook them, I have made Sukiyaki, the only menu,  which I knew this vegetable was used as a material.

Chinese cabbasge, also home grown, was used in this dish. Sukiyaki is famous for a Japanese dish. I seldom cook that menu. The main reason may be beef is pretty expensive compared with pork or chicken in our country. With our currency getting weaker, imported beef is even more expensive by 20 or 30%. Beef made in Japan was even more costly than imported ones from the US or Australia. The prices are getting closer for now. When watching the prices of foods etc at super market, I sensitively know how inflation is going on. Anyway, sometimes I should kive in a bit of luxury. Maybe, I will get a bit better beef to be added in the dish tomorrow.

This vegetable seems good for salad so far as it is fresh. I would try that soon. 

Two issues in Morse code learning

 Even keeping a distance from Morse code, I am still concerned how it is alive and used in ham radio. Looking around SNS groups, I found a couple of trends in learning procedure of Morse code.

Firstly, most of the beginners are learning it through some sofe ware. It is a quite frequent question made by them in SNS what soft ware is the best to learn it. Actually, I haven't tried any such soft ware by myself and not eligible to mention about it. But I would question if it is the best or the only way to learn it. Learning through soft ware may help people a lot to remember all characters in Morse code in the beginning. After that step, is soft ware learning ideal way or not, I wonder.

I won't idealize how we have learned Morse code back in '60s. Those days, after remembering all the characters, we were listening to CW bands every day. We could first copy only a part of call signs. However, while going on listening on the bands, we found ourselves to be able to copy everything. The world has started to be opened all of sudden. I should say the progress is step wise. So we should keep ourselves grinding into it for weeks or even monthes. We need to go through that flat floor until we could go up to the higher place. While doing SWLing, we could learn how to operate radio and what ettiauette we should keep in operation. In actual communication, we should do with fading or interference which we could experience only on the air but not with computer. I wonder why experienced operators won't advise new comers to train this way.  

I sometimes find advices from senior operators to beginners to copy words en bloc. Copying each word as a whole for its sounding may help, as they advice, to copy code faster. I believe it would embarrass beginners. Our short term memory buffer is limited. A large cluster dots/dashes is hard to remember. I guess advising that way, the senior operators are not conscious of what's going on in reception process. We are taking the meaning of the message at every moment. When we copy a part of the word being sent, we subconsciously try to read the latter part of the word. We guess what word should follow in the context. Reading a sentence or even a whole message, we are guessing what to come next from the context. It is done almost unconsciously. This is the process of head copy. In stead of advising young beginners to remember the sound of a word as a whole, we should encourage them to read the word. sentence and message. It is a continuous process of reading. 

The coup d'etat plot in Germany and ultra right extremists in the world

The coup d'etat plot in Germany has surprised us a lot. It is hard to believe there was such an extremist right wing people in one of the developed countries. Especially, it is a shock that the group included policemen/military officers even in small number, who are empowered to resort to force. It seems to aim to revive the regime of German Reich with racial elitecism, that is, identical or very close to Nazism.

In WWII, so far as I learned, most German people have approved Nazis by Hitler at least in the beginning, while some of them stood up against it and even tried to execute assassination of Hitler, which all were ended in vain. Even after the war, those having protested and having been killed by Nazis and their family members have had to undergo criticism for their action during WWII by some people. With the efforts of the people involved in the protests against Nazis and related people, around 1970, they have finally restored the honor of those having lost their lives in the struggle against Nazis.

But the racism and exclusion of minorities seem to be still alive in a lot of countries including Germany. I suspect there should be those believing in such extreme idea in the society, which has shown up as this coup d'etat plot. I hear the ultra right wing party AfD is getting some approval and some seats in the House in Germany. The same thing is going on in Japan. Even worse, the ultra right wing occupies most of the ruling party here. Its goal as a political party is to change the constitution and to have the military as in prewar era. Their basic propaganda is to return to the regime  of the imperialism. 

There are the other example of ultra right wing politicians and their parties in so many countries. One example is Russia lead by Putin. He is adhering to the regime of Russian Empire after experiencing the decline of USSR by himself. The characteristics of such ultra right dictator are firstly sticking to a regime in the past brilliant and successful to their eyes. Secondly, they won't hesitate to rely on fake or publish it to the people as well as the world. They are also eager to expand armaments and even to resort to military power. 

I am sure this trend in politics may reflect certain changes in the society. We should investigate what has brought such ultra right wing in the world and care for that if it is possible. In Ukraine, we have learned nuclear weapons could destroy human civilization by such a dictator. The coup d'etat plot, even though unsuccessful this time, is alarming us that. 

In early winter

It seems everything has been in hibernation in the garden/farm. It is really early winter now. It gets frosty early in the morning here. 

Spinach is an exception. Though slowly, they are still growing. Some of them grown earlier have been used a material for miso soup. 

Knowing that onion is the vegetable growing in winter, I am still amazed at its growth. I have given a bit of grass mulching to them. It may help them to survive in the cold snap which comes on them frequently in the coming months. In early spring, they will bear big fruits at the base.

Three trees at the northern side of our house. Two camellias and one unknown decidupis tree. Camellia are in full bloom. 

The unknown deciduous tree has colored leaves in beautiful gradation. Whenever I see such fallen leaves, an episode comes on in my mind. When our Empress Michiko has turned 86 years of age and could not play piano any longer, which she had loved so much, she told that everything we could do is a gift from heaven, every loss of our abilities is to return it to heaven. It is a right attitude toward aging, I believe. we should never be upset or saddened to have lost our abilities but accept it as a consequence of aging. What a profound idea! In addition, fallen leaves will become nutrition to the following lives.

Camellia flowers. They are joy in this season when the other flowers finished their lives. 

A camellia flower in close up. I could not help admiring its beauty.

I would devote myself to reading books and listening to music. Not bored at all. In 3 months, the garden/farm will revive and may keep me so busy.

 

A memory of Elegy by Faure

One more trifle of memory in young days.

When I finished the early residency at a med school here, I returned to mother school for research work in immunogenetics for a few years. On weekdays, I stayed at my parents' home and, later, at a small apartment close to the lab. I went back to home in Tochigi in weekends. Sometimes, I have drove back to home on my car. Late at Saturday evening, I always ran on a fixed route. Whenever I went through the northern border of Tokyo abutting on Saitama through a big river, I felt I had been there in the past. Late at night, the area was covered with darkness. There were high buildings of apartment on the other side. Only street lights at regular interval were looming up the street and the adjascent area. 

In some time, I remembered having been the area in my school days. I have visited a piano teacher with the pianist friend U. U was showing our performance of Elegy by Faure to him in her lesson. I can't remember what season it was but it was surely cool evening. Feeling so tense, I was getting out of the exit of a subway station, bringing cello on shoulder. It was U's usual lesson. I can't remember what I was told by him at all. 

Several weeks ago, I happened to make correspondence with U and asked her about that lesson. She told me it was Hanaoka, a post-graduate student of a famous art university. He later went to France and devoted hard to performance of piano there. He was awarded at a few concours there. He has become a professor of piano at a music university here.  

I was so nervous to go for that lesson but was still a bit proud of being chosen for a partner for the lesson by her. However, I wasn't yet confident at cello performance at all. I felt sorry for her because I had not been proficient at performance. I have been a kind of unconfidence guy at various things including playing cello. In the mail, I apologized her for that. 

She has not answered anything to that. She only let me know the teacher had praised my cello while she was only with him. It might be only a diplomatic words to me. If she had told anything to encourage me, I would have been saddened. But it was relieving me a lot that she told that without commenting on my cello skill etc. I felt of her considerateness in just delivering the teacher's words to me. 

Faure's Elegy is a famous piece for cellists. It is a work of romanticism hued with sentimentalism in youth. I have played it at a few occasions before audience ever since. No chance to play it with U any longer. Talking of the episode of her lesson, however, I felt this little bitter memory had turned a warm one in my mind. All thanks to U. This is a performance of this piece by Krijgh. The performance advances steadily until it reaches the theme reproduced in an octave higher than the beginning. Creative and excellent performance.

Discretionary labor system

 Our MHLW is aiming to apply the discretionary labor system to more kinds of professions/labors. It is stated to let the workers work at their convenience. 

Actually, it was planned to have them work endlessly at low wage. The business executives would have them work long hours without paying overtime pay under the discretionary labor system. 

The tragedy is that the Labor Union is not against that "reformation". Our economy depends mainly on the domestic demand but not on export businesses. But the workers' income has been decreasing for the past 3 decades with substantial cut of the income for the workers. It has lowered labor productivity and caused very slow increase of GDP. 

This reformation or change of the work system may lead to further decrease pf labor productivity through lowered income. The top of Labor Union seems to belong to the politicians, burocrats and businessmen governening this country.

Ill health or even death from overwork among workers may be resulted by this socially unacceptable change in labor system. The executives who could improve labor productivity only through such a lousy change in labor system should be retired at present. 

I am wondering why the workers and/or the major opponent party won't oppose to such a slavery sytem in the modern world.

The autumn potatoes cropped and beef/potato stew

It is the time for cropping autumn potatoes. The plants are starting being withered. Their growth seemed to promise good harvest this year.

Yes, my guess was right. Pretty big potatoes were cropped out. 

Having freshly harvested potatoes, we always think of this dish. Beef and potato stew. A traditional home dish menu in our country. This was my wife's request as well. Several times of this amount are expected to be cropped in the coming few days. They will be stored in boxes and will be used for cooking throughout this winter. Some of them will be planted for spring potatoes in next March. 

The vegetables left in the garden farm are onions, leeks, chinese cabbages, brussel sprouts, radishes, garlics and beans. Boy, it sounds like a big farm. Each is in small amount, though. They will be quietly coming into the coldest season.   

 

The very last communication

 I have been keeping another blog in Japanese since 2006. Those days, the so called "malpractice issues" were in debate and doctors were often criticized or even sued to court. An obstetrician was even arrested for the misfortune case that a serious complication of delivery had killed a lady, which looked inevitable to us especially at a small hospital with one obstetrician ward. A lot of doctors have started publishing their thoughts through the internet in the style of blog those days. I was one of them. I have been keeping that blog which became like a political place for commentary and radical criticism! I may continue it for some more years until I get intellectually more deteriorated!

It is like a diary for me even though I seldom write about private things there. Ham radio friends have been one of the topics. In an article titled David N1EA written in 2008, I found an impressive story about him and our mutual friend Laci W1PL. David has been a commercial operator and used to go voyage as a radio operator for a long time. His fist was so excellent as those old timers of old commercial operators.     

The post said we had had a QSO on 20m the other day. David told me about his "very last" QSO with old Laci W1PL. Laci has been another proficient operator and was an immigrant from Hungary during WWII, I believe. He was like a beacon from the East Coast. How couldn't we meet each other since I was another beacon from Far East. David told me he had given a phone call to Laci a few days before his passing. On the phone, Laci seemed to talk in his mother tongue, which David could not understand at all. Having brought an oscillator and a key there, David sent the final message on CW. Laci seemed to understand it and sent back his message on CW. It must have been an impressive event for him and for me as well that ham friends could communicate on CW even if they couldn't in the ordinary way of verbal communication. It was the very last communication between them.

I have forgotten about this episode. Like fallen leaves, I am losing memories and intellectual abilities if I have any. Maybe, when I could not publish my idea or view through the internet, I would spend time reading back those stories interesting to me. I could picture that from now. I don't know if David could operate radio now. Hopefully, he is still advocating this old fashioned mode of communication to new comers.

The 44th anniversary tomorrow

 It will be the 44th anniversary of our marriage tomorrow. It is a too banal expression but time is flying so fast. It is like yesterday when we were settled down at the resident dorm at a med school hospital nearby. She wore an old greenish coat. I held her in arms and came into the house when we came back from the honey moon. Without knowing what would happen to us for the next decades...

Both of us were fans of classical music. It took 1 hour and a half for us to go on a train to Ueno Tokyo where we could attend concerts. Before having got married, we were talking of going for concerts at least once a few months. In the end of that year, we went to a concert of the 9th of Beethoven. And later, about 15 years ago, we had another chance to listen to a chamber music at Ueno. Only twice through this 44 years! Both of us have been responsible for the duties which could not be replaced by the others easily. That may be a reason. It has been tough for her to go out of home freely for her responsibility as a mother as well. 

One of the biggest changes in life to come on in the next year is that she is expecting finally to retire during the next year. She was looking for a psychiatrist who would take over her office. It is not successful yet so far. She is concerned about the patients and a staff whom she has worked for years for and together with. Without luck to find out a substitute, however, she may close it down. They may find their own ways by themselves even after her office closing. She has already worked as a psychiatrist for 45 years. Who could imagine she would go on working for such a long time? I would give her compliment and gratitude to her for her efforts. At our ages, it may not be easy for us to travel so much. I just hope she will enjoy leisurely days at the garden or in the kitchen.

I have posted this photo a few times. I still love it. It sure reminds me of our young days. It was taken at our honey moon in Izu. Happy and ambitious days for us.

It was the clarinet quintet of Brahms performed by Takacs that we listened in the concert at Ueno some 15 years ago. This is an excellent performance of an unknown quartet and clarinet player I recently found in Youtube.

 

 

Chinese cabbage harvested

Chinese cabbages are grown and ready to be harvested. They have grown to this size. The problem is that they are ripened at the very same time.

This will be a material for hot pot dish tonight.

Our mischievous boy was sniffing at it and knew it was not for him.

So hot pot dishes will continue for some time.

 

Taiwanese Lily

 For the past few years, there have been a couple of lily flowers grown at the entrance of our home. They are remarkable among other grasses and attract our eyes when they come out. Here is one of them.

Looking up the species of this lily, I found Taiwanese Lily was most likely. It also looks like Gun Lily but has red line on the lateral sides of periaths, which is peculiar to this species.

A botanological site says it was originally from Taiwan and is widely spread all around in our country. It is pretty stout and could grow anywhere. It may cluster at one place. It hates, however, continuous cropping and may disappear in a few years. The seed would flow in wind and may grow at another place.

It is also told to comeout in early summer. How have they bloomed in this season? Is it thanks to the global warming? In this cool season when other flowers are withering, they look very attractive. 

We have never planted these lilies. I am sure a couple of seeds were flown down here and have grown like this. A kind of mysterious and romantic story. I don't know how long they will live there. For the time being, they would please us until they finish living there. May they go on living at another place and make people happy there.

Getting into early winter

It is the season to plant baby plants of onion into farms. The plants grown with seedling are not well grown this year. I have purchased about 100 seedlings at a store and have finished planting them in a small farm. I wonder if they will grow in the coming cold season without vinyl mulching or sheet cover. Grass mulching was put among them. My wife was laughing at the number and asked me how to do with so many of them. This sort of onion could be preserved for several months, I answered.

Green pea and snow pea have already budded. Hopefully, they will bear a lot of beans for salad and dishes. Radishes are growing slowly. I wonder if they grow as they should by the time of frost. Lettuce is also slow in growth. I have used only compost for the fertilizer. Has it limited their growth? Natural farming is favorable but should require some years to have soil rich and fertile. Least amount of fertilizer of organic origin may be necessary. It is a question for farming next year.

The Japanes Judas tree at the small space to the west next to the neighbor is still growing. I asked a gardener to cut the trunk and the main branches a few years ago. It should have been planted at larger free space like a park. But it is its destiny to be planted naturally at this place. No matter what happens, it should live together with us there for some more years. Not so bright as ginko tree, it turns the leaves colorful for now. Leaves are starting to fall on the ground.

 

Ellen W1YL has passed away

Early yesterday morning, I knew Ellen W1YL had gone silent key the day before by a post of her relative in Facebook. It was expected but still was a sad news in fact. She has been undergone downhill for her health issue for the past weeks, I knew. Ned W1RAN, her old friend, has let me know how she has been doing from time to time. 

It was in late '80s when I got a personal acquaintance with her. She often got on 40m CW late at night in our time. But it seemed Bob, her OM, used to take the seat oftener than her. With the ideal set up with a beam there, their signals were always booming in here. 

It was the time when I joined FOC and had become a crazy DX chaser. After a DX pedition to XU as XU0JA, I was asked to write an article for a DX club by her when she was the editor of the club magazine. In early millenium years, she has lost her beloving son Jamie K4OJ and, in a couple of years, Bob. What losses they were for her! But she never told me the words of lingering attachment to them but was always proud of the days when she enjoyed the same hobby together with them. She moved to an apartment in a few years, I believe, where she had to give up oprating radio.

It was 2016 when she appeared before me all of sudden. With generosity of Tom K5RC and much help from her friends, she could start operating the big station of W7RN through remote control. This is the post in this blog which I made after that reunion after several years' absence.

 http://nuttycellist-unknown.blogspot.com/2016/02/w1yl7.html

Late in the afternoon, when I finished gardening/farming work and came in the shack with a can of cold lager, I often ran across with her on 40m CW. In several days interval. She has had insomnia problem and always got out of the bed very early in the morning there. Around 2 or 3 AM there. We have yakked on good old days, our cats or even the current issues in the world. I learned she had been a firm believer in democracy. She sounded like a real young girl when she was talking through CW. Very vivid and sensitive. I was not conscious that I was talking to a legendary ham in the US at that time. 

Through our friendship, I always felt and admired that she was a lady of independence. Her favorite phrase was that she had been lucky to be able to live independently by herself in the apartment even if she should use the walker or, later, the wheel chair. Whenever she has met hardship in life, which she won't mention about such a thing too often, I was inclined to offer any help to her. She always seemed unhappy at such a proposal or even at such an attitude of me. She has enjoyed social activities, whether it might be for ham radio or not. She always spent a few days when expecting friends or family members visiting her. I could picture how excited she was having them there. Her friends and family members were affectionately caring for her from time to time, I knew. In fact, for the last few days, her daughter in law, Teresa, and her children have cared for her at the apartment.

When I decided to quit radio this summer, she gave me a short note telling me to withdraw that decision. She said ham radio won't be the same for her without me. It was really touching words for me. But I have crossed the Rubicon at that time. It was an honor to me to be told that way, though. 

Our very last QSO was on May 8th this year. Again it was late in the afternoon. The remarks in the log says she could not sleep well, 20m was excellent reminding her of good old days and one good thing was that her good friend Nita was visiting the next week. The interval of QSOs was longer. I felt her health condition was going gradually downhill. But, as if we would meet again in a few days, we parted each other. Without realizing that it was the very last one.

It is a big loss for me to have her passing away. But now she is free from anxiety and pain on earth. I am pleased to imagine she is enjoying reunion her beloving son and husband. I would thank all of her friendship through ham radio and wish her RIP.   

The Most Unforgettable Patient

I still have a file of summaries of inpatients whom I have been in charge of in my resident days. Not all was recorded. But they were memorable and important patients to me as not only a pediatrician starting career but also a human being. 

In it, there is a record of a patient with acute leukemia I have cared for a year from 1978 to 1979. I was starting residency then. I was interested in hematology and was curious about this case at first. I have learned how to tap bone marrow with her and how to read the cytological findings. She was not given exact diagnosis of leukemia. Only categorized as undifferentiated acute leukemia of unknow origin. It was still the era when leukocyte/lymphocyte surface antigens were not discovered. T lymphocyte was identified only with sheep red blood cell rosette formation. Undifferentiated leucocyte/lymphocyte was impossible to be categorized. It was quite difficult for us to treat her. For the year, it has been impossible for us to lead her into remission even once.  

The summary says she has born at a town in the mountain area and has spent lively life as a small child as stated below. She has developed tiredness, bruising and pallor. Being diagnosed acute leukemia, she has undergone a various protocol for leukemia whch turned out ineffective. Without chemo., the violent leukemic cells have increased so badly that we could not stop giving chemo. 

She has been agonized with drip infusion and side effects of chemo. Whenever I went into her room, she was gremacing or weeping. Only once she was smiling when the chemo protocol was not severe with a single drug, which was believed to induce differentiation of leukemic cell. She was brightly smiling at me when I visited her. It won't last long, though. That treatment was not effective, either.

I was not in the position to determine the treatment plan. The more harsh unendurable the series of chemo became for her, the more often I wondered if there was any other choice than chemo for her. Even though I have never asked my boss about that. There were very few hospices in our country at that time. I have never heard of that for children. At present, those patients and their family members have the other choice of treatment. This girl could have spent happier and more meaningful days even if she won't be brought into remission. I am truely sorry for her and for our incapability to treat her. She has become more than a patient for me in the end. I have learned so many things from her. 

She was originally from a spa town in the mountain area I drove the other day and posted about it on Oct 21st. My short resume says she had attended a kindergarten until she became ill. She might spend happy days there. Too short life. Getting through that old town, I could not help recalling of her and her parents. Her mother has become mentally ill at last. I wondered if that couple was still living there. If they were still there and the girl was entombed somewhere there, I would visit her at the tomb. With what she has taught me as a pediatrician and a human, I could go through my life, I would tell her. It might not be possible, though.

She has died on Nov 21st in 1979.　　

A Skater is Retiring

An excellent speed skater, Nao Kodaira, has stated of her retirement from skating. She has won the gold medal in 500m speed skating at the Winter Olympic Games in Pyong Chang in 2018. In the press conference, being asked about involvement in hosting the Winter Olympic Games in Sapporo, she answered she would take a distance from it so far. She also stated she won't be utilized for such an event. 

Olympic Games have been corrupted by businesses, IOC or politicians. The Tokyo Olympic Games held last year was typical for that. A few businessmen and executive staff of JOC etc have been arrested for bribery. Tsunekazu Takeda, the former head of JOC, has been suspected of corruption to host the Tokyo Olympic Games. He was suspected to bribe IAAF executives for that. A few politicians, including a former PM, are suspects for corruptions as well. A big advertizing agent named Dentsu might play a central role in these corruption scheme. I have been wondering why athletes won't question about it. 

I believe sports people who achieved some records in such as the Olympic Games won't express their views like Kodaira did since they might be concerned about their career after retiring their sports. Kodaira says she would go on teaching at a university, her mother school in Shinshu. She wants to climbing mountains there,

which she could not enjoy for fear of accidents. 

In the 500m speed skate race she won the 1st place, another skater from Korea, who had been expected to win in it, got only the 2nd place and started weeping in the rink. Kodaira has gently embraced her with the Korean national flag. Whatever country they belonged to and whatever place they got, it was a moving scene in fact. It was most impressive scene in that Olympic Games.   

Clearing up the garden farm

 I have had left knee pain for the past several weeks. It is what I have often heard from old friends in the past. I thought I had become so old as the same issue, possibly, osteoarthritis deformans, at the knee occured to me. It is an aging process. Quite a few friends have undergone the knee joint replacement, I know. At the worst moment, I could hardly walk and it was tough for me to stand up from sitting position. My wife told me to consult to an orthopedic doctor. But I didn't. I hate seeing a doctor, especially an orthopedician from my experience with one of them when I got the intervertebral disc herniation. 

Of course, I knew it had been my prejudice and improper judgement. Anyway, I decided not to see a doctor but to treat it conservatively by myself. I said no thanks to my wife proposing to give me a pain killer. Warm the painful joint and when not so painful, try to walk as much as possible. Warming at night when asleep seems pretty effective. For the past week or two, it is getting much better. I could resume almost daily routine as before. I may need more walking and also reducing body weight.

Sorry for an old man's complaint. This experience taught me it had been only an indian summer, rather, der Alteweibssommer that I could go on living without any health issue only for a while. Any health issue could descend on me and would deprive me of daily routine any time. I should be ready for such a life event from now on. Even though this is only a minor event in life, I have remembered the Adagio of Nr 15 string quartet by Beethoven.

That knee arthralgia has kept me away from working hard in the garden/farm. It is getting quite cool at night and may be frosty very soon. I have made up my mind to get away the tomatoes now. One of tomato farm was cleared. I could plant leek, onion or some beans there. The tomato plants were still bearing some green fruits and were scenting as if in midsummer, which I love so much. It was a bit sad to cut and pull the plants. Maybe, in the next summer, tomatoes will revive somewhere else. 

Six plants were growing in this tiny lot. It had had much compost mixed before they were planted there. The soil is still soft. A part of the pulled plants are seen on the upper part of this photo. I will leave it there until they become compost. I should clear up the vegetable plants for the summer left in the farm very soon. Some more tomatoes and taros etc. To get ready for the upcoming winter.

Recollection of the piano trio in A minor OP50 by Tchaikovsky

In the end of each year, we, the members of the university orchestra club, have had a year end party at the campus of Ochanomizu Women's University. The orchestra was an intercollege club between our university and that one. At the student hall  after a rehearsal, there were some cookies with soft drinks ready on each table. It was early in the evening and pretty cold. Through the front window, we could see the shadow of trees and faculty buildings in the darkness. Very quiet. Some members would go up on the stage one after another to play pieces they like and had prepared for this event.

In a year or two after I had started learning cello at the orchestra, a senior student, a proficient cellist by that time, together with a pianist and a violinist, was playing the piece, "To the Memory of the Great Artist", the famous piano trio by Tchaikovsky there. For a beginner cellist, I was more than moved by their performance.

In the darkness of twilight, beginning with the arpeggio, the piano lured the cello to start singing the melancholic beautiful theme. They have played only the 1st movement and the coda of the 2nd movement. They still caught my mind so tightly. From the last variation to the coda, what a magnificient as well as touching transition, the first theme was reproduced and faded as a funeral march.

This trio is not a permanent ensemble but seems to have been gathered for a music festival in Germany. The violinist, a brilliant player, and the expert pianist seem to be siblings. The cellist sounds mellow and soft. He seems to take over the instrument Maurice Gendron used to use. What an intimate and pleasing ensemble they are! During performing this pretty tough piece, they were smiling at each other from time to time. When the coda was finished, the audience kept silent for a while. I don't think it was not a staging but a result of how they were moved by the performance. 

When I came back with cello at age around 49 years after a long interval, I wanted to play it sometime and have purchased the score. It turned out, however, to be pretty difficult for me to play escpecially the 2nd movement of variation. It is piled on the other numerous scores in my room. No chance to play those chamber ensembles any longer, I am afraid. I should find out someone who would take them over and make them sound by themselves. Until then, I would listen to such a music as this one with the score.

Egg plants with pork and green pepper

The persimmon tree in the north eastern corner of the property is abundant with its fruits this fall. It has not been so much for the past year or two. It seems certain environmental or inherenet factors may determine its crop. In a circulatory cycle manner. Without cutting overly abundant ones, each of the fruits seems to be rather small. A few have been harvested and added to salad. Both of us won't have all of them. Hopefully, crows or other birds will enjoy them before they are fallen on the ground.

As told a few times in the past, these fruit trees were planted by my father about 30 plus years ago. The life span of persimmon trees is told to be around 50 or 100 years. The others who take over this place will enjoy them for 2 or even 3 generations. I bet my father has never thought of that but might think our generation would do. 

As I also wrote that before, I had never been interested in any trees in the property when I was young. In mid forties of age, I have, all of sudden, got conscious of their beings or even fascinated by their features. It was a miraculous experience for me. We have several other trees as old as this house. I would maintain them as long as possible. 

I have cooked the last batch of egg plants with pork and green pepper. Seasoned with sweetened miso. It was a recipe my mother used to cook and is a menu of our family for now. I have found another post of egg plants cooked with miso 7 years ago.

Not so bad. Egg plants taste good with oil or miso. In a week or two, it seems to get cold as 4 or 5 degrees C. I should finish and pull out these summer vegetables soon. 

 

Remembering of friends in a drive to the mountain area

A short post. Getting bored with routine as a house keeper, I went for driving to the mountain area north of here. It took me a couple of hours one way. I have already written about such a drive twice or even more in this blog. 

Radio weather forecasts often mentioned of autumn leaves there recently. I wanted to seem them also. 

On a shore of a headstream of Kinu River, running north to south as a major river here around here, showed quiet and peaceful scene.

It seemed only 20 or 30% of leaves of foliage on the mountain have turned colorful. 

As written before, such a solo drive brings memories of people, especially those already died. 

Jim VK9NS was one of them. I have related about his and a drive trip taking him around here. It was a hectic days when we were so enthusiastic for DXing. He used to keep a net on 20m SSB called Southern Cross Net in our late afternoon hours. His signal was always blasting there and attracting a lot of guys from Europe. In several years, the net has become silent, though. I wonder how his wife VK9NL is doing.

The other guy coming up in my mind was Ozeki JA1APF. He used to work at an office/factory in a skirt of this mountain area. In mid '80s, when I was driving on a trunk road with my family and was calling CQ on 70cm FM, he has given me a call. Yes, I was a nut and was operating VHF FM mobile or even CW on HF from my car. He was on the way back home in Saitama as he always did in the week ends. He was a sociable guy and we started QSOs on that band every week end while he was driving from his office back to home. For a couple of hours! He sometimes dropped by us here and had a cup of tea with us. 

He was so kind to bring my mother to a hospital when both of us could not do that. I believe all of my family member knew of him as Ozeki san. He used to belong to the pioneer generation of ham radio after WWII and let me know how he had been licensed. The administration officers have brought several measuring instruments to his home in the station licencing exam. He has been good at building radio or other things. He has helped any of us to construct antennas etc. 

I have heard he had sometimes had nausea and vomitting before he was brought to an emergency ward on an ambulance car. He wanted me to attend him there and they have given me a phone call. It was a cold winter morning. Wondering what has happened to him, I rushed to the hospital. When I reached there, he has already passed away. The cause seemed to be myocardial infarction. The prior symptom of vomitting might be due to the same issue, I am afraid. I wondered if I could do anything more. In an episode of that symptom, I ran to his office with a bottle of div solution and gave it to him, which seemed to work well in that case. I had a least idea that it could be due to heart issue. He has never complained of chest pain etc suggestive of cardiovascular event. Anyway, whenever I drive to the mountain area, I still remember him like an own family member.  

This should have been shorter. Too much yakking. In fact, I have a recollection of a patient whom I was on charge for in my resident days. Maybe, later.

The piano trio Nr3 in f minor by Dvorak has been played in the car throughout the trip. What a sentiment and energy in it! 

Before it gets frosty, I should have the tiny baby plants of onions and leeks covered with sheets. 

The other system than old greedy capitalism is required

Our currency JPY is getting cheaper against "any" other currencies. It is not a matter of interest rate any longer. But it is a result of confidence loss for BOJ and its currency. The market won't believe in either for now. 

It is a tough way to recover from that. This may lead to further inflation here. It is not possible for the ordinary people to hedge it. Our government is subsidying to the export business to support their business for more profits. It's a ridiculous decision. They won't do anything for the inflation and lost confidence in JPY. Market intervention has proved to be useless from the dollar-selling intervention BOJ executed a few weeks ago. They should do with monetary financing and with the accumulated debt of the government. It is a hard thing for politicians to do that. But they should.

We, retirees, should get through hard time for the coming years. I guess living at own house and getting foods by ourselves are crucial for our lives. I would do it as much as I can. My wife, a psychiatrist, has decided to retire maybe next spring. But she would delay it until the situation is settled down. How long do they force this old lady go on working?

This big mess in the world and most seriously in our country may be due to the quantitative easing world wide. The greedy capitalism has caused it. Abundant money, seeking new victims of investment, would repeat economical bubble and later ruptured bubble. Series of havocs may make the world unstable and not sustainable. In this age of anthropogenesis, we may need the other system than the old fashioned capitalism to achieve stable, let alone, peaceful world.

Solitude and Impromptu of Schubert perfomed by Pires

Time is flying. It is already becoming early winter. Not too far before it gets frosty here. I have been planting winter/spring vegetables like broccoli, spinach, cabbage, onion or leek etc. My sore left knee won't allow me work so hard as before. But it is still a fun and relief to be in my tiny garden farm. 

The problem of solitude seems inherent in our age of elderly. I could not help thinking of that lately. Physically, in retirement, we live apart from the society. No company to do with around us. Moreover, mentally, we seem to be betrayed in darkness in a sense. With our capabilities obtained in young days being lost, we should go without the seemingly infinite and boundless power in youth.   

In the end, we should go through dying all alone like when we were born. It is the absolute solitude. 

A psychiatrist, Mieko Kamiya, whose works have attracted me since my med school days, used to say that when a person is dying, he/she will be in absolute solitude. The dying person must be physically as well as mentally in solitude and could never be understood by the others, even if they try to sympathize the dying person.  

Having worked for those with leprosy for a long time, she might have encountered such a situation for many times. She could not do or tell anything for those dying people as not only a psychiatrist but also as a human. All she could do, as she said, was to hold their hands without any words. 

She might have the problem by herself. A heart failure issue which ultimately deprived her of her life. 

It is a highly individualized problem which could not be solved with an answer. The hand given to us dying could be from our beloving ones, certain belief in religion or words of philosophers. I believe some kind of music could accompany us in that situation. Music is a mysterious thing which could not be seen or touched. It is an experience for the moment. It comes into our mind and accompanies us. 

One of those music is this impromptu by Schubert composed in his very last year. I don't know what situation he was in when composing it. Translucent chord and never ending melodies. I still feel he has created it in or near the absolute solitude. It won't be the solution which leads to get out of it. But, feeling it to be close to us, we are much relieved from them.

This performance by Pires is sure moving us. Especially, the 1st piece in f minor. She has got out the hardness in physical problem in her 40s when she recorded it. It might render profoundness in her playing.

Pirates

 I have received an e mail from Jack W8KR that there had been "me" spotted on 20m several times. I am sorry but they are all pirates.

I thought I could have been forgotten by anyone as soon as I announced of my QRT. But I have also mentioned of the possibility to come back with smaller set up etc. It might have someone pretend to be me. So far, I don't have any plan to come back on the radio. 

Whenever you may hear "me" on the air, inform in the cluster etc that it is a pirate.

I am totally off the air.

Thanks for your help in advance. I will neglect such a thing from now on.

 

Stewed Pumpkin, Egg plant, Tomatoe and Pork a la Ratatouille

I should consume harvested pumpkins before they get decayed. Together with egg plants and tomatoes of the last batch of harvest this year, one of them was cooked a la ratatouille. The 1st ever dish of French stew for me. It makes me imagine how the country people in France are having it for a casual dish. We are apt to cook everything in Chinese or Korean style when we get bored with our traditional cooking. This French style is not bad. It is simple in addition.

A Japanese Youtuber living with his Russian wife in a countryside of Russia told in his program people in Russia are growing potatoes and stock it in the amount sufficient to feed them for 3 months. People in Russia have experienced a number of political as well as economical crises since '90s. That might be the reason why they prepare such stock of foods.

Our country could have such a crisis in the near future. Natural disaster, crisis in the international relationship or progress of the inflation etc may cause food shortage here. I am afraid much higher iflation is impending here. But very few are concerned about it. Am I too pessimistic?

Here is the potatoes grown in the farm here, which would be cropped next month before we have the frost.

I would dig out the rest of sweet potatoes in the farm. It has been too wet to do that for the past few days. We may have the Alteweibssommer for the next few days.

Fall Rain and the Farewell by Mahler

Before being aware I have not renewed this blog for some time, it has already become like early winter. It has been drizzly in chillness for the couple of days. Farming is still keeping me busy. I have finished planting vegetables for the winter and upcoming spring as I planned. I only hope they will germinate successfully. Some of them like potato, onion, radish, carrot, broccoli and so forth have already come out. The timing of seeding is quite tricky since the season changes quite rapidly. 

Happily enough, weeds are growing slowly or even have ceased growth. Not much work pulling them. Flowers are also beginning withering for now. The roadside trees and azaleas at the entrance have turned colorful. Mariegolds are leaning on the ground. Some of the flowers have changed to seeds, which I started collenting for the next season. 

I often listen to "Das Lied von der Erde" by Mahler recently. For him as a composer but also a human being, it was the culmination of seeking the solution for death throughout his life. In the end of Der Abschied, after singing drinking alcohol, enjoying youth or pursuing beauty turned out meaningless before the issue of death, he asks his friend, an alter ego of himself, dying soon, where he would go. That alter ego answers he would go into mountains and wander around there. Flowers will bloom again and nature will remain eternal. The music ends with a piece of words "Ewig" repeated and faded out in diminuendo. This last piece, the longest movement in this music, must be Mahler's real intention since the poem was written by himself while the former 5 movements have poems quoted from another poet who translated a Chinese poem into German for that. As Bernstein explains on this work in a video clip, it is composed on pentatonic typical for the Oriental music. Mahler might try to express himself through the orientalism. Was the conclusion a sense of impermanence in Bhuddism? I could hear the same idea in his 9th symphony. Its 4th movement ends with a simple motif GEDE, which is of course modified with transposition. It was fading away in the same way of Ewig in Der Abschied. Has he reconciled with the vulgar power of death with this idea? 

I am glad to be able to spend time listening to such a music. Feeling getting older day by day with loss of capabilities or with pain and aches in the body, I won't resist to get older. It is destined. Accepting it as it is should be all I should be.