A moment of quietness

It was a sunny dry day 2 days ago. A bit hot but not bad. Seeing sun going over the top of canopy, I went out and started, sitting on a tiny chair, cutting the weeds and the remnant of pumpkin plants in the garden. In a minute or two, I felt sharp pain in the abdomen followed by nausea. Sweating a lot. Possible diagnoses were running around in my mind, so called, acute abdomen. No way I could make any proper diagnosis for myself. I could hardly move with those discomforts.

In some time, I could move to the veranda where we store items for gardening/farming. That discomfort has climaxed not too late after that. I have laid on the concrete ground in the veranda and have vomitted a few times. It seems I have made some strange shouts while vomiting. My wife has noticed what happened to me and hurried to me. I could hardly move there and laid for a while. After vomiting, I felt less unpleasant but could not stand up or walk.

The concrete, heated with sunray, felt warm and pleasant to me. When I told my wife it was like bedrock bath, she uttered I was saying the same kind of joke my mother used to. The nausea has occurred me in undulant way even though it was getting less intense as time passed. I decided to stay there for a while until I could walk by myself. Upset at my condition, my wife proposed me to call an ambulance car to bring me to an ER. I said no. I was pretty sure this episode should be some kind of infection like Norovirus or other food intoxicating pathogen and it should be self limiting. I was a bit touched how my wife kindly cared for me at this episode, even though I was sure a psychiatrist could never be a doctor in such a case as me but could only be a good nurse.

With the warmth on the back, I also could see bright blue sky over a big Japanese Zelkova spreading branches and leaves high in the sky. A beautiful and tranquil moment. Despite of going on discomfort, I thought the moment of death should be like this. In this quietness, I would farewell to the earth and to the family. But it was not the case this time sadly. If real moment of farewell to the real world and real life was like that, it should be a real blessing to me. Even though, I should admit, agony at the last moment of life should be much deeper as well as sharp.

It was a mysterious experience for me anyway. I should carry on living with much duties and routine works so far. If the last moment of life is like this experience, leaving this world should be a blessing to me.

Recovered completely from this episode, I have started the same normal routine again. Let's live vividly until the last moment arrives us.