Father was born in 1919. Lost his parents in his young days, he has been raised by some of his folks. It was not pleasant days for him. He did not tell us about that period of his life so much. Even though he wanted to have higher education, his situation didn't allow him that at all.
His young days have been spent in the WWII. He was in compulsory service in China, where he experienced most brutal aspects of war. It has made him believing in firm pacifism throughout his life. He often told us we should apologize to the chinese people for the burden Japan had given to them in WWII. He also insisted of the responsibility of our former emperor for the war.
He has married with our mother after WWII. They seemed to have met at the sanatorium our aunt managed here. They seem to have married in Christianity. Having worked there for several years, when the sanatorium was finishing its role in the society with advance of medical treatment for tuberculosis, he has made an exodus to Tokyo, where he and mother have raised all their 3 children. He has worked at a few hospitals as a boiler man, a house keeper or a head official. He has loved us so much. It was not love of father to children but that of mother. He has loved children almost blindly. Since I have noticed a few defects in his personality, I have not been too friendly to him for some years in my twenties. He was a difficult person to do with and has made quarrels with a few people around him. An event has made him in discord with mother for a while as well. He has let me go to a medical university after finishing an engineering faculty of a college. It took me a long time. It was also a long duty for him. It took me many years to notice what a load for him to send me to schools for such a long time. My sister has gone to a nursing college and became a nurse after mother while younger brother went to a med school to be a psychiatrist. What long lasting responsibility he and mother have taken for us in not so wealthy situation!
When we got married 36 years ago, I have become closer to him again. We needed his help to care for our children. Later, we lived at this place together. He seemed, as my sister said, to have spent happiest retirement here. He has done gardening and caring for his grandchildren here. He also enjoyed reading a lot and always looked forward attending a church in Tokyo. We were grateful to him for his affectionate care for our children. I haven't intended to have own practice. Things have conspired me to start own practice at a place near by. He has helped me to work as a clerk at the clinic. I often watched him walking slowly to his car across the parking lot after having finished his duty at the office. Now almost finishing my responsibility for children, I am more than thankful to him and mother for their efforts for us, even though they might answer it was their joy to my gratitude to them.
Only regret was that I and any other family members had not been beside him when he passed away. He was hospitalized at a facility which was about 40 minutes drive from here. On the day he was passing, I visited him after finishing work. He could not talk any longer but was perfectly consious to communicate with writing. He seemed lonely and helpless there. I still remember him looking at me with sad expression. I should have stayed with him that night. Passing is not an easy event. It is completion of our lives. We should get it through by ourselves. Having family members or close friends beside us might be a mighty help to do that. I should apologize that to him if I should have an opportunity to see him.
I still often recall of him, doing the same things at home here. May we have a day to see each other again?
It has been a few weeks since I visited your writings. I have always found them to be inspiring, sometimes, humorous. This writing of your father brought great admiration for you to me. In reading about your father, written from your heart, I felt as if I was reading about my own father and his relationship with me. As odd feeling, almost as if I had written the tribute. My father's last day was July 12, 1996. I was not there with him.
ReplyDeleteHe was also born in 1919, July 22nd.
ReplyDeleteDon,
DeleteYour father and mine have lived in the same age. They also have had hard days in the war. We owe much to them and, I believe, should deliver their way of lives to the next generation.
Shin