In 3 days, it will be the 7th anniversary of my mother's passing. She was 96 years old. Despite of having lived in Christianity belief, she has suffered from many things in her life. In the end years of her life, she had Alzheimer's disease. Losing her recent memory, she still kept her respectable personality.
When we decided not to care for her at home but to move her to a nursing facility nearby, my borther wanted to be with her at his home in Sendai. In a year or so, it turned out to be difficult for him and his wife to go on caring for her. She had been sent in a nursing facility there, where she had had one of the best care available for her. I could not thank more the staff there and my brother/his wife.
She used to be a sharp person. I sometimes wonder what frustration and anxiety for her to lose her recent memory and some aspects of her intellectuality. She has accepted it as it was without complaining anything to the others. Her wish was to come back here and to live with our father, who had passed away 14 years ago.
Even after she has lost her recent memory, when I brought breakfast to her at the house in the same property, I found her praying eagerly sitting at the table. Even though I was not a Christian, it was an unforgettable scene of glory even for me. In her last hospitalization, she was always smiling to the visitors asking about the related people. Even though she repeatedly expressed her wish to come home here.
On the 1st anniversary, my sister has sent me a poem titled as A Prayer for the Autumn Years of Life, by Heuvers, who had spent many years as a catholic priest in Japan. What is written in this poem was how she has spent her last years of life. I believe she has taught us how to spend the last years of our lives with her existence itself.
I still miss her.
Very Beautiful Shin. I lost my mother at the age of 11. It was devastating to my brother and I. She had finally found peace with her husband, and had a beautiful home in the country with Rose Garden that she adored. We went to our fathers, but he was not capable of caring for 2 young boys due to many things. PTSD from WWII and his drinking, which I believe was his solution to the PTSD. Our Aunt, my fathers sister who was already in her late 60s took my brother and I into her home and raised us through High School. She was a wonderful, loving, and special woman. She to was to acquire Alzheimer's and shortly after I returned home from the US Navy in 1975 she would not let me into the home I grew up in because she did not remember me. It was a sad day, she went on to live in a care facility and she was loved by many, because she was still friendly and accommodating to all. I miss my mother very much, and my second mother who I was lucky to have care for us in a time of need. She too taught us how to live our lives with her existence also.
ReplyDeleteI still miss them both.
Ray,
DeleteIt is another touching story. You have gone through such a hard time in your young days. I am sorry your aunt could not recognize you when you returned home. But she had to live with Alzheimers and was cared for by the people around her. Now I know why you take family issues as important thing in your life.
Keep me posted about what is going on with your treatment. Take care. Best wishes to Marie.
Shin
Thank you for sharing this, dear OM. Your mother's end of life reminds me of that of my mother's last few years...
ReplyDeleteReinhart,
DeleteThanks for the comment. My mother used to experience the WWII in homeland. It might be much more harsh for your mother then. I am sorry to hear she had to undergo the same last years as my mother did. I am sure she has accepted it as it was. I would toast to your mother and your memory on her with a glass of dark beer this evening.
Shin
Sorry, misspelling your name. The correct name is Reinhard. We should meet on the air oftener or I may make such a mistake.
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