If she had been deported back to Hungary...

I was wondering why it was not at a laboratory of famous university in the US but only a not well known private company in Germany that Dr. Kariko had succeeded inventing mRNA vaccine. The following story answers how and why.

Nowadays, mRNA technology is expanding its use to cancer immunotherapy. Unnecessary to mention how many lives have been saved with mRNA anti Corona virus vaccine. It is one of the most remarkable inventions in medical science nowadays.  

It is well recognized mRNA vaccine technology has been invented by a Hungarian researcher with an American. Both of them have been awarded for achievement in anti      COVID vaccine. 

If she had been deported to Hungary as depited in the following paper while she was in the research in the US by such as ICE of Trump administration, there could have been millions or even more victims due to the pandemic. Present deportation of immigrants out of the US by the Trump administration sure brings forth undermining of scientific research in the US in the future. 

A post from "Wow that's amazing" in facebook is quoted below;

 A young Hungarian scientist, her husband, and their two-year-old daughter board a plane to America. Hidden inside the child’s teddy bear is £900, everything they own, smuggled out of communist Hungary after selling their car on the black market.

Her name is Katalin Karikó. She is thirty years old. She has a PhD in biochemistry. And she believes, almost alone, that messenger RNA could one day teach human cells how to fight disease.

She has no idea that four decades of rejection lie ahead. Or that her work will eventually save millions of lives.

Karikó takes a research position at Temple University in Philadelphia. Four years later, she clashes with her supervisor. According to later reporting, he reports her to immigration authorities, claiming she is in the country illegally. She has to hire a lawyer to avoid deportation. A job offer from Johns Hopkins is withdrawn. Her career nearly ends before it has properly begun.

She finds another position at the University of Pennsylvania and continues working on mRNA. No one wants to fund it. Grant after grant is rejected. In academic science, grants are survival. Without them, you do not exist.

Most researchers avoid RNA altogether. It degrades easily. Experiments fail. When Karikó argues that the problem is contamination, not the molecule, no one listens.

By 1995, Penn gives her an ultimatum. Abandon mRNA or accept a demotion off the tenure track. At the same time, she is diagnosed with cancer. Her husband is stuck in Hungary because of visa problems. The future she worked toward is slipping away.

She chooses the demotion.

Her salary drops below that of her own technician. She is demoted again. And again. Four times in total. She begins to doubt herself, to wonder whether she simply is not good enough. She considers leaving science altogether.

Then, in 1997, she meets Drew Weissman at a photocopier.

They start talking. Weissman is trying to develop an HIV vaccine. Karikó tells him she can make any mRNA he needs. He listens. That alone sets him apart.

For years, they work in near invisibility. No funding. No prestige. No interest from major journals. They keep going anyway.

In 2005, they make the breakthrough. They discover how to modify mRNA so it does not trigger the immune system to destroy it. One small change. One decisive insight. Suddenly, mRNA becomes usable for vaccines.

They submit the paper. Nature rejects it. Science rejects it. It is eventually published in Immunity and largely ignored.

In 2013, Karikó is pushed out of Penn. She is fifty-eight years old. No American university wants her. She takes a job at a small German biotech company called BioNTech. For years, she commutes between countries, still running experiments herself, still believing.

Then 2020 arrives.

A novel coronavirus spreads across the world. Millions die. Governments panic. The world needs a vaccine faster than any vaccine has ever been made.

And the technology everyone dismissed becomes the solution.

The Pfizer-BioNTech and Moderna COVID-19 vaccines are built on the mRNA platform Karikó spent her life refining. The first mRNA vaccines ever approved for human use. They save millions of lives.

When she learns the trials worked, she celebrates alone by eating an entire box of chocolate-covered peanuts.

On October 2, 2023, Katalin Karikó and Drew Weissman are awarded the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine.

She is not a professor. She never climbed the ladder she was told mattered. She was demoted, dismissed, nearly deported, and repeatedly told her work was worthless.

When asked how she endured it, her answer is simple. She did not crave recognition. She felt successful because she was doing the work she believed in.

Rejection did not mean she was wrong. It meant she was early.

She kept going not because she expected a Nobel Prize, but because the science mattered. And when the world needed it most, it was ready.

She carried everything she owned in a teddy bear. She was told to stop. She did not.

And the world survived because of it.

The Art of Fugue

I have reiterated of the Art of Fugue in the past. 

Last night, it was the music I listened to before going to sleep. It was soothing and comforting my mind as usual. I wondered what made me feel that way. It is quite an abstract music but not concrete at all. Polyphony may fit our consciousness, which is like a series of  filters. It may be related with "working memory" in our mind function. An idea is developed there while an antithesis grows at the same time in our mind. They are working each other and finally reaches sublation or remain being in conflict. 

Canon is the simplest form of polyphony. The leading theme is followed by the same melody in some duration, in variations of rhythm and various techniques like augmentation, inversion and so forth. Basically, it is composed of two melody lines and its structure sounds transparent. Not only intellectually interesting but also deeply related with our consciousness. 

I have been absorbed in the Canons in the latter half of this music. This contrapunctus XV is most impressive to me. Withing the simple structure, I always amazed how profound it sounds to me. I used to play another Canon, contrapunctus XIII, with a violinist for fun. It was several years ago. 

Such a genius is Bach composing this kind of music!  

 

Christmas

 Our parents have prepared a piece of roast chicken for each of us in Christmas when we were young. It was good enough for us. No Christmas tree, Christmas presents or other ornaments. We were in poverty compared with other families. But we have never felt of that even in Christmas. My brother told me the atmosphere of Christianity had prevented us from being tormented from the poverty. I have added to him that our hope for the future surpassed the emotion of poverty.

Christmas at present is far from what it has meant in Christianity but turned to be a universal festivity to welcome spring after the wintersolstice is gone. No complaints about it at all. I would say Merry Christmas to every one whatever religion or ideology he/she may have. Our earth turns toward warm and fertile spring soon. Originally, the concept of  Christmas has born with the idea of Christianity together of the local religion.

Getting older, I feel even more that we should celebrate it as they do. Not gremacing at the fuss and mess. So let's shout loudly Merry Christmas to everyone and heavenly relief to those struggling hardship or illnesses.  

Season's Greetings to you!

In a couple of days, the winter solstice comes on and in 10 days, so does the new year. No need to say that but time surely flys away so fast. It is the time for me to summarize how I have spent this year and extend the season's greetings to all of you visiting this blog.

The mountains in Nikko north west of here taken from the riverside here in this season several years ago. It is still so dry and chilly now as the time this photo was taken.  

First of all, both of us were blessed with decent health even though we both have had minor health issues commensurate to our ages. Both of us are around or over the healthy life expectancy for now. It was a surprise Chiaki suffered from subacute thyroiditis this summer. A doctor friend has given her accurate diagnosis at pretty early stage, which helped her to have appropriate treatment. We have learned we should be ready for any health issues developing on us from now. Now Chiaki has started attending to a gym a few days a week while I sometimes sweep fallen leaves and care for vegetables even though not so often as in summer. I am trying to walk the moderate range of steps, at least, 5000 steps a day, which is told to avoid Alzheimer's disease to some extent.

Growing the vegetables without pesticides or herbicides, I have been pretty successful at it. The main fertilizer is compost made from weeds. Too much fertilizer could disturb the natural exchange of nutrients between plants' roots and mycorrhizal fungi around them. Of course, not much use of fertilizer spares expense. I am still learning that way of farming, which is quite interesting and productive. Lately, certain kinds of pesticides are reported to be involved with Parkinson's disease, which is increasing significantly these days. Growing natural and pesticides free vegetables is quite important. Anyway, working with farm and vegetables is beneficial to my health itself and is always uplifting my mind. I would carry it on as long as possible.  

As for politics and economy within our country as well as in the world, the situation is disappointing. There are a large number of politicians in populism. They often lie a lot. As quoted Hannah Arendt's discourse in a previous post in this blog, when people are cheated with lies frequently, they could not discern truth and wrong. It may lead to fascism. Convinced lies often appear as conspiracy. It is in a shambles in medical science especially in the US.  I wonder if the science lead by the labs and scientists in the US for decades could recover after the present aministration is gone. 

Military expansion, especially in nuclear weapon is making drastic progress. The expenditure for arms race in the world hit the largest ever in 2024. Of course, it reflects the invasion by Russia to Ukraine, the holocaust of Palestinians in Gaza and  so forth. Development of missile defence system including that in the universe is surely one of the biggest factors. Missile defence system would escalate to further armament expansion. I am very afraid it will cause pre-emptive attack. Nuclear weapon war, however small in size it might be, could provoke world wide level of nuclear contamination and of nuclear winter. Countdown to nuclear war is shortest at present.

Hobby-wise, it has been quite fertile in experience of listening music. Recalling the new year's resolution, I have purchased a complete set of Beethoven's piano sonata by Backhaus after having not been able to make up my mind on the pianist. Backhaus was the most popular pianist in my young days. He plays them in great architecture. Conquerring St. Matthew's Passion has been delayed. Still going it on in slow pace appreciating its profound expression. 

Whenever I realize the good old days in ham radio is going away, with good old friends passing away one after another, I feel less motivated to come back on the air. I may apply for my call sign at least before it's allotted to someone else. Either in Japanese or English, I have written about good old ham friends in blogs. I would go on keeping records of them. Too sad they are forgotten in ham radio community. It is for myself in a sense. Reading back those posts on the friends, I could renew my memories. If any friends access to this blog, just leave a word or two to me. I appreciate it so much. Don't forget put you call and/or name in it.

So very best wishes for the season to you and yours all. May you be blessed with good health and pleasant holiday season with your family.

Shin ex JA1NUT

The 1st cello sonata of Brahms

 It has been already 13 years since I mentioned of this cello sonata, Brahms' 1st sonata in e minor, as in the post; here.

I might have told about the encounter with this music elsewhere. Investigating on it, however, I could find no post on it. It was a presentation within the club of the orchestra at the end of summer camp. At a hall of camping site in a skirt of high mountains in Shinshu in the end of August. Breeze was coming through the window of the hall. Bright sunray, still ushering in the arrival of early fall, was sparkling there as well. 

A senior cellist started playing the 1st movement of this sonata before the audience of the other orchestra members.

The cello starts the 1st theme so emotional as if mentally wandering in the way typical for youth. The piano accompanies it quietly with syncopated accord. After a passage intermediate, the cello goes decisively into the 2nd theme. Piano follows it in a beat or so. Both thema are rising up and reaching each peak. Then, the melodies are coming down. But no solution to the tension of the melodies. I often believe this kind of solution is characteristic to Brahms' music. I could exemplify quite some melodies in his various works, especially in his chamber music. This characteristic seems to appeal to young people. The recapitulation is given in the same pitch and tonality as the beginning. Accompaniment by piano is beautiul arpeggio downward. Sparkling sunlight filtering through leaves synchronized it perfectly. Whenever I listened to this portion, the scene comes up in my mind.

Oh well, imperfect analysis together with personal recollection is enough here. I would say it was really inspiring me, a beginner cellist those days, and had a dream to challenge this sonata someday. 

While practising the orchestral pieces I played in the orchestra, I did not stop doing with this piece. In 2 or 3 years, I have had a chance to play all the movements at a university festival. At a noisy cafeteria of the orchestra, I have "got it through". The 3rd movement inspired by Bach's the Art of Fugue was a really a challenge. Got it through! 

Much water has flown under the bridge since then. Three years ago, I had a chance to play this 1st movement together with a niece as the pianist at a hall in Tokyo. I could have played it better if I was still competent with the instrument as in my student days. I still felt happy to do with this sonata with my niece. It was a fun for me to play it with that niece whom I had known since her toddler days.

Shortly after its peformance, I got trouble with my both arms when going on playing cello for some time. I decided to leave the bow on the floor. Honestly, I would want to go on playing it. But I felt I have played it as much as I could. Getting apart from cello, I found more time for the other things including listening to key board music etc. No regret to give up playing it. More time and energy for listening music and reading books etc. 

Cello playing was an important part of life for me. But, I feel, it was a kind of the heaven's dispensation that I had to give it up exactly when I finished this sonata with niece. I am thankful for that even if it is quite a trifle for the other people than myself. It was the end of a chapter in my life.

I have been listening to various cellists playing this sonata. I have been a fan of Janos Starker with his youthful musicality from his accurate phrasing and bowing since my student days.  

Financial crisis

Our government has created a supplementary budget up to 21 trillion JPY, that is, about 130 billion USD. The total budget this year rose more than 136 trillion JPY, that is, approximately 860 billion USD. This size of budget is the largest ever. It is for fiscal stimulus, as they say. Increased military spending is most conspicuous. Almost doubled from that a few years ago. The budget for social security or farming is increased slightest. Considering of the on going inflation, this means almost reduction for these expenditures.

They say the revenue has been increased a bit. But it is mostly due to the inflation. It is just nominal but not substantial. Not as much as the expenditure. The government doesn't have any other means than issuing national bond to cover the increase of expenditure, I am afraid. The bond already issued is amounted more than 1000 trillion JPY. About 150 trillion JPY bonds are refinanced every year. The bonds yield rates, mainly of long term ones, are increasing to the extent they have never experienced. Higher interest rates would deteriorate the finance of Bank of Japan, which results in weakening of our currency as well as increase the expenditure of bond interests of the government. 

I am afraid the scenario we could picture in the near future could never be so hopeful. More than 70% of the people are applauding the present government. I wonder if they are aware of this financial crisis or if they are too stupid to acknowledge of the present situation. 

The most pessimistic scenario we could draw is as follows;

 THE GLOBAL FINANCIAL SYSTEM JUST BROKE IN TOKYO

Japan’s 30-year bond yield hit 3.41% today. That number means nothing to you. Here’s why it should terrify you.

Japan owes 230% of everything it produces. It’s the most indebted nation in human history. For 35 years, they kept the lights on by borrowing at near-zero rates. That era ended this morning.

Here’s What Just Happened

Core inflation is running at 3.0%. Government bond yields are spiking to levels not seen since 1999. China just conducted its 25th military incursion near Japanese waters this year. Japan is now forced to spend 2% of GDP on defense … nearly 9 trillion yen annually.

The Bank of Japan is trapped between two impossible choices: raise rates and trigger a debt collapse, or keep rates low and watch inflation destroy savings. They chose door number two.

Why You Should Care

Every major bank, hedge fund, and institution on Earth has borrowed yen at cheap rates and invested it elsewhere for 30 years. This “carry trade” could be worth anywhere from $350 billion to $4 trillion. Nobody knows the real number because it’s hidden in derivatives.

When Japan’s system breaks, this money unwinds. Fast.

The last time we saw a preview … July 2024 … the Nikkei dropped 12.4% in a single day. The Nasdaq fell 13%. That was a small tremor. The earthquake is coming.

The Math Is Simple!

Japan’s government pays interest on $9 trillion in debt. Every 0.5% increase in rates costs them $45 billion annually. At current yields, debt service will consume 10% of all tax revenue. That’s the death spiral threshold.

The yen is trading at 157 to the dollar. If it strengthens to 152, the entire carry trade becomes unprofitable. Unwinding begins. Emerging market currencies could drop 10-15%. The Nasdaq could fall 12-20% as funds are forced to sell.

What Happens Next

December 18-19, the Bank of Japan meets. Markets are pricing 51% odds they raise rates another 0.25%. If they do, volatility explodes. If they don’t, inflation accelerates and the problem gets worse.

There is no way out. Japan’s fiscal dominance is now permanent. They must keep the yen weak to service their debt. This means the free money that powered global markets since 1990 is ending.

The Bottom Line

Interest rates worldwide are going up 0.5-1.0% permanently. Not because of inflation. Because the world’s largest creditor nation can no longer subsidize global growth.

Your mortgage, your car loan, your credit card … all repricing higher. Stock valuations built on cheap money … all compressing. The everything bubble … all deflating.

This is not a recession. This is a regime change. The largest liquidity engine in financial history just seized up, and most people won’t understand what happened until their portfolios are down 30%.

Tokyo broke the world today. You’ll feel it tomorrow.

x.com

Shanaka Anslem Perera  (@shanaka86) on X

Author & Ideologist. Exploring money, AI, science, and sovereignty. Mapping the collapse and the reconstruction of order. Data driven insights.

The reason for existence of my blog if any

I have kept this blog for 14 years and the other in Japanese for even 19 years. Astonishing myself is to know how long I have kept them. My father used to keep diary and was a diligent writer of letters to friends or family members. I might be inherited with that trait from him. Even though I have written little about my private life in the blogs, they are a kind of diary to me, where I record what I am concerned about, comparable to my father's diary. 

I sometimes wonder how to do with these two blogs in the future when I could hardly continue them. They should be put an end when I could not intellectually keep them. I still, however, would go on writing something until the time limit. 

The main reason is just, as told above, to keep personal records of concern for me. I realize of forgetfulness more and more as I get older now. These blog posts often bring me back to the days when I wrote them. There are topics which I totally forgot. Remembering old things through those posts is not only making me feel nostalgic but also is helpful to me to consider of the situation around me at that time. I have not expected this when I started these blogs.

As told above, I won't hesitate to delete these blogs completely when I am not capable of keeping them. But memories of old friends, either in ham radio or not, are precious for me. Some of them should be remembered by others as well, I often think. Too sad their memories are being lost as time goes by. 

Recently, the words professor Totsuka has come on in mind. Only 8 years since I posted this;

 https://nuttycellist-unknown.blogspot.com/2017/11/the-words-professor-has-left.html

It is not easy for me to execute "writing/reading/listening more carefully as well as deliberately". I would try.  "To be enlightened in life is not to die well but to live well." This motto is even more difficult for me. The less the life span left for me is getting, the more I should be diligent to live. 

It is a freezing morning here.   

Beethoven 9th by BFO conducted by Furtwangler

It is already December close to the end of this year. Around this time in a year, I was often listening music at the dorm room of the university. More than half a century ago. 

Beethoven 9th symphony played by Bayreuth Festival orchestra in 1951 was one of the  pieces which we, me and a room mate friend, used to enjoy. We have prepared an audio set with speakers of Sansui those days. It was the days we both had joined the university orchestra together. 

  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXdbSWu0E

This performance is exceptionally tense up as well as the atmosphere was. This music is to sing out loudly for the unity of mankind. I still wonder if we have progressed that way since those days or even since the time Beethoven composed it.

It has passed half a century for now. This performance still brings me back to those days. The dark and quiet dorm room. The symphony started like the moment of universe creation. 

Quiting drinking

It's been several days since I quit the habit of drinking beer early in the evening everyday. It has been a refreshment for me after having worked hard in the garden/farm. I could not help recalling chatting cheerfully with Ellen W1YL around our sunset. I was always with a glass of beer then. I have never been a heavy drinker. Only 350ml can a day. 

But ALDH2 subtype might be heterozygote of ALDH2*2 in my case, that is, the alcohol metabolism is slowed with ALDH2*2 allele. This variant, quite popular among mongoloid, could be inducted by alcohol intake but still slows the metabolism of alcohol resulting in aldehyde accumulation which could damage arterial endothelium and/or neuronal tissue etc. It is known to be a carcinogen as well. Since I have drunk alcohol often since young days, I am getting less intolerable to alcohol than before, except for recent years in elderly. 

There are a couple of reasons why I decided quitting drinking. Getting older, I am not feeling as high with drinking as before. I thought I was getting worse with alcohol metabolism. Usual a can of 350ml is often felt too much for me recently. That was one reason why I decided quitting drinking. Secondly, I had sleep disturbance at least partially related with alcohol intake. Shallow sleep and frequent awaking at night. It is well known that insomnia is a risk factor for dementia. I have become more conscious of that problem since I have a family history of senile dementia, that is, my mother's case. 

It is only "a several days long trial" but I am feeling better as for sleep. No change as for early rising. Maybe, the biological clock within me has deteriorated as a consequence of aging. However, sleeping much deeper without drinking is quite helpful to me. So far, no rebound nor withdrawal symtoms yet. 

A few years ago, it has elucidated alcohol is carcinogenic without threshold. If any cancer related with alcohol develops with me, it should be already occured. But for younger people, it should be a problem in some time interval. No threshold is a important factor esxpecially for young people.  

  

Recently, a couple of articles have revealed the relationship between alcohol intake and  arteriolar sclerosis.  

This study shows in cross sectional autopsy cases, alcohol intake is associated with arteriolar sclerosis due to hyaline degeneration in dose dependent manner. It should be noted even moderate intake is associated with it. This arteroloscrerosis should be related with the neuropathology of dementia. The cross sectionality is a limit factor of this study.

https://www.neurology.org/doi/10.1212/WNL.0000000000213555

More recently, another study regarding the same subject has published. They observed 1600 cases for 16 years. It has revealed the alcohol intakers are susceptible to intracranial bleeding due to arteriolar degeneration. It is not a cohort study of longitudinal observation

but is still warning alcohol intake for intracerebral bleeding due to arteriolar hyaline degeneration.

https://www.neurology.org/doi/10.1212/WNL.0000000000214348

These studies are enough to carry on my decision to quit drinking. I fully understand drinking would free us from variety of stresses. To quit drinking or not depends on how we would live our lives. In my case, it seemed a right timing to do so. 

47th anniversary

 It will be our 47th anniversary of wedding tomorrow. As written before, we have played "Apres Un Reve"  of Faure, Chiaki at piano and me with cello, at the wedding party. It is really like a dream that we have spent this 47 years together. Being around or over the healthy life exectancy, both of us are apt to have ache or other aging signs/symptoms at various parts of body now. It reminds us of our parents at our age. We will learn and live after them. And may we grow old together until we leave the earth.

At the campus of medical school hospital we started serving residency. She was expecting a baby.

We celebrate the day with humble sushi for the dinner tomorrow.

  

As for use of the artificial sweetners

Artificial sweetners are widely used in various foods or beverages. The manufacturers insist that the sweetners are of help to reduce the caloric intake. They are actually very powerful to flavor foods and beneficial for the manufacturers. 

However, there have been a variety of questions regarding use of this kind of ingredients. Artificial sweetners won't give sufficient feeling of fullness, so that it won't be of much use for dieting. 

There have been debates on its carcinogenicity for years. WHO used to appeal against its use due to probable carcinogenicity, even if it is not concluded yet. 

The following article says it has adverse effect on developing dementia based on a large scale and long duration epidemiological study. It is only an observatory one not controlled. There could be confounding factors influencing the result between high and low intake groups. It still seems highly likely that the artificial sweetners are related with development o dementia. 

Last year, our administration office determined a guideline on the description on food items as for the artificial sweetners use. It has not forbidden to use the artificial sweetners but forbade describing that "the item contains no artificial sweetners". The reason is that such items with the description shown above could look of high quality. What a non sense!

The administration is inclined to behave in capitalistic logic, that is, to priotize people's health over the benefit of the artificial sweetner manufacturing industries. We should be rational and intelligent by ourselves as for such as this artificial sweetner issue. 

Development of dementia is a long lasting and multiactorial process. We should avoid any factors responsible for that in daily life. At least, I have been careful not taking any foods containing artificial sweetners.

Gonçalves NG, et al. Association Between Consumption of Low- and No-Calorie Artificial Sweeteners and Cognitive Decline: An 8-Year Prospective Study．Neurology. 2025;105:e214023．doi.org/10.1212/WNL.0000000000214023

Peacefulness in the farm

Again too far apart from the last renewal of this blog. Getting cooler or even more chilly day by day, it has been the best season for me to seed or plant vegetables for the coming winter. It has kept me busy in addition to pulling the weeds in the lawn etc. 

This is another spontaneously grown white radish. There have been several radishes grown to bear seeds, which were spontaneously seedled this spring , I guess. I was surprised to see this one grown so big without any care. It will be a material for Oden later.

This splendid growth of this radish made me convinced that seeds from certain kind of vegetable grown at a place would do so well at the very same place as I wrote in a previous post. No sign of disturbed repetition of cultivation.  

Onion seedles planted in grass mulch. Onion seeded by myself are not growing well enough to seedle yet. These seedles were purchased at a shop last month and temporarily planted at another place. More than 100 seedles were planted. Even though this kind would last long possibly until the winter in 2026, who would consume them?

Tiny young pea plants are budding from the seeds harvested this spring.

Spinach is also budding successfully. This lot has been seeded a week ago when it was pretty cool. Covered with non woven fabric and watered enough, these tiny buds came out. I was suspicious that they might not come out in this prewinter weather. But they sure did. You may laugh at me being moved at these tiny plants coming on the soil in the farm.

Marie gold is fully blooming. It has not bloomed in the hottest season but has come out when it got this cool. Lovely flowers. It has been planted to prevent a kind of nematode which disturbes growth of tomatoes. This year, unfortunately, tomatoes were not successful due to a kind of bug aspirating the fruits and leading to decay. It is another question how to avoid it without using insectcides. 

 

When I sit on the soil of the farm, a kind of peacefulness difficult to express by words sometimes overwhelms my mind. A famous farmer of natural farming told we could sense ourselves as a part of the flow of lives when working in the farm. That peacefulness might be related with such an internal perception even if we feel it as it is or not. In that sense, we could be totally free from any attributes given by the others or even our wish or demand for any thing in the world. When convinced with this peacefulness or relief, we might overcome the problem of our death. We just live in the flow of lives and would return to the other phase of life in nature when dying.   

Being a psychiatrist

Recently, I have been corresponding with my brother quite often. We share the same memories in our young days. A lot of things to talk about. Such as on our parents, the training days as doctor, present socioeconomical issues, the prospect on the coming elderly days and so on.

He is now 72 years old and is working at a prefectural hospital  as a psychiatrist in Iwate Prefecture a few hundred km north of here. He has been the only brother whom I have been proud of since his young days. Intellectual, affectionate to family members, others and possibly to his patients as well.

He repeatedly complained that he had felt deeply tired while working at the hospital of late. At first, I thought he had been stressed at his plan of retirement in next September. Yes, he has finally decided to retire. I asked him if I guessed it right. He answered no. He has been burdened with the patients' worries and anxieties. Psychiatric patients are often in hardship in life and poverty in the community in addition to the problems pertinent to their illnesses like delusions and/or illusions etc. Psychiatrists try to understand what they think of and to keep distance from it as well at the same time. 

In my brother's case, since he has been too compassionate others including his patients, he could not stop being devoted to them wholeheartedly. It is a kind of drawback as a psychiatrist. He should do with it, a natural character for him. Even an ordinary person may experience to the same kind of being burdened by those psychiatric patients.  

      

I would have majored in psychiatry when I decided to become a doctor. One reason was that I was influenced by works of V.E. Frankle, Karl Jaspers and so forth those days. I have acquainted with a family with several psychiatric patients as well and innocence of youth has made me feel I would be of help to those people. But in the faculty, the bed side training in pediatrics has lured me to working as a pediatrician as the patients were so lovely and a lot of them could recover quickly when given proper treatments. 

I don't really know what has lead my brother to his profession. Since he has not changed his speciality and is going to end his career as a psychiatrist, he might have felt it was worth working for those patients. If I am allowed to say, he has been crucified with his profession while he felt that worthiness. 

It won't last forever but will end in next September. I hope he will get it through by any means. I thought I could have been in his position if I chose psychiatry. Hearty gratitude and cheers to psychiatrists struggling in their profession indispensible in the society! 

Renovation of my room

It has been a project, candidly a reluctant one, for me to renovate my radio shack into a den. The big study table which I used at the former office and was left unused for sometime. Bringing it to my room here was the main thing of this project.

It has been done yesterday. Exactly speaking, the move of the table was successfully done.

The table used since 2011, a humble dinning table, used to replace the older one  which had been destroyed by the big earthquake in 2011. The broken table has let the radio gears slipped down on the floor. I became apathic and it took a week or so to things recovered again. 

Having been attached to that old dining table, I still wanted to remodel the room with the radio gears taken away. I still would like to come back on the radio with smaller set up. But it might take me a bit more time. I wanted to get the table tidy without a lot of radio apparatus and cable wires on it.

First, I packed my lovely keys into a box. A vibroplex bug made in 1949. a gift from Don WB6BBC, another Vibroplex purchased recently, a Begali paddle, a gift from Bill W6QR, a straight key named HK3 by Hi-mound, the only radio item I still keep since my teen age days. Other than these, there are Schurr paddle, a gift from Joe DL4CF and a Mercury paddle. The keyer is MM3 by AEA I got in '80s, which I loved its shape of Morse codes so much I have never used the other keyers, internal or external. My lovely companion in ham radio life. Hopefully, I would reopen it and place everything at right place soon. Of course, I have put cushioning material between the items in the box.

 

Even if I renew the station license, it would be quite difficult for me to satisfy the requirement. I have lost any will to do with the bureaucratic system. The amplifier should be given to someone who could utilize it. In case of coming back, I would keep FT2000, at first, a book end.

And my study table looks like this. You may laugh at the cables coming in the room. I would get them disposed of very soon. A few plaques of the JIDXC I got decades ago and a plaque of FOC may be saved from being trashed so far. At first when I saw this table set here after a long time, I felt impressed a bit. But in a few hours, everything looks same as before. 

 It was a kind of end of life planning for me. There are a lot more to do for that. One of them is whom my cello is taken over to. It was a most important thing for me in my forties through sixties. I should look for someone who would play it as a life companion. 

One of the unexpected result from this renovation is that I could reach the audio system much easier. I may listen to a lot of music from now on. I have found several QSL card requests from overseas at shaded area. I should reply to them as well. Wondering if those senders are still enjoying radio.

So one of the projects is almost completed. 

Spontaneously growing carrots

At a corner of my small farm, there are a number of carrots growing completely spontaneously. There were carrots grown there last year, which flowered this spring, have shed seeds and have sowed them around themselves. These carrots are from those seeds.

Those spontaneously grown plants are told to grow well at the place. I don't know how it occurs. It is still well known "mycorrhizial fungi" around the plants are working together with the plants, transferring nutrients from the plants to the fungi while the former accepting such as phosphorus from the latter. That synbiosis is essential for the plants. 

The fungi invades the plants in a way and its genetic information is let in tha latter. They say the genome could be contained in the seeds. That may be why the newly grown plants from those seeds are adapted well to the soil. I was excited to read about this mechanism. Mother nature has provided such a deliberate system.

Hopefully, they will grow and would become materials for dishes this winter. 

If the real world is provided with the same synbiosis for human beings, I wonder if we are living on it or ostracizing, killing each other. 

 

Autumn days

Fall seems to be changing its position to winter very soon. It will get below 10 degrees C early in the morning here in a few days. I am hurried up sowing the seeds of winter/spring vegetables now. In next month, onion seedlings will be planted. Then I will be free from farming for a while.

A couple of days ago, hearing from my brother that they are not very well, I have visited an old couple in a town of 30 minutes drive. The husband, 85 years of age, used to get married to our cousin decades ago, who passed away all of sudden at her pretty young age. She was kind to us and used to often help us for chores starting our residency at a med school almost hal a century ago. When she got serious intracranial bleeding, she was referred to a med school hospital I was working. Being only a pediatrician, I could not do anything for her but just watched how she was tried to be rescued at the ER. It turned out in vain. They have had 3 daughters by then. I recently heard one of their granddaughter had become a med student.

Years have passed when he got remarried with another lady, his present wife. She, a woman of good will and kindness, used to help us with my parents and our kids for years. Since both of us were working busily as doctors, her aid for my old parents and for house chores was really appreciated. 

The husband told he had had complete AV block which urged him to be equipped with heart pacemaker a couple of years ago. He was smiling to tell me it would work for a decade. The wife was more serious with congestive heart failure. She looked rather pale. She said the heart output had been only a fraction of normal. She seemed to get tired easily while doing something. She told me, with faint smile, it won't be too long before she would be called to heaven. 

Both of them have been christians since their young days. It has become difficult for them to attend to a church due to health issues. They have not asked for any help by the local  administration, which I could hardly believe. They have a daughter working a nurse not too far away. It seemed she had been visiting them for help, even though not too often. 

Handed them my cell phone number and mail address, telling them to call me when they need any urgent help, I quit their home, which was beautifully cared for with grass and flowers. I promised them to bring vegetables grown in my garden farm sometime in the near future.

I regretted not having tried to get in touch with this old couple for such a long time. We had been helped so much by them when we needed their help. It is our turn to do so for them. 

And at the same time, I felt both of us were getting into the same chapter of life as they did. Warm autumn days in life won't last too long.

Lying politicians and fascism

The major political party, LDPJ, in our country has elected Sanae Takaichi for its president. She is a direct lineage of former prime minister, Shinzo Abe, in political vision as well as political ethos. Their expansionary fiscal policy with quontitative easing in "another dimension" has ended in total failure, at least in my view. The debt monetization resulted in over 1000 trillion JPY government debt. Half of it has been imposed to the bank of Japan, which makes it quite difficult to do with the ongoing inflation. 

Takaichi is prone to lie in various situations. In politics, they should sometimes keep themseles mute about certain topics which is kind of silent lie. Such lying could be allowable in some cases. In Takaichi's case, she willingly tells lie for her profit. 

Since she has run for office in '90s, her culliculum vitae told she had worked as a congressional fellow in the US in her young days. It has been questioned and, recently, it turned out her name was not in the roster of congressional fellows in the past. When she worked as the Minister of Internal Affairs and Communication, she assumed that a paper published from the ministry had been a fake and, telling that in the House, she even told she would resign not only the minister position but also the Member of the House of the Representatives. However, even after the paper turned out authentic, she never did either. There are plenty of such cases with her. I am afraid such politicians prone to lie for their benefits would lead our country to wrong way.

Nowadays, there are a lot of populism politicians in power all around the world. It seems like a historical process that people are accepting and even applauding them. Brexit was an example and so is the ongoing mess in the Trump administration. In such an age, we should appreciate what Hannah Arendt told about lying and fascism as follows;

 Hannah Arendt, in The Origins of Totalitarianism, explored how truth can be systematically eroded until people lose the ability to think for themselves. She observed that totalitarianism thrives not through persuasion or conviction, but by breaking the link between words and reality—by turning people into beings for whom truth and falsehood no longer matter.

She noted that the goal of totalitarian education was never to instill belief, but to destroy the very capacity for belief. When people no longer know what to trust, when facts become interchangeable with fiction, the ground of moral judgment collapses.

Arendt wrote:

“This constant lying is not aimed at making the people believe a lie, but at ensuring that no one believes anything anymore. A people that can no longer distinguish between truth and lies cannot distinguish between right and wrong. And such a people, deprived of the power to think and judge, is, without knowing and willing it, completely subjected to the rule of lies. With such a people, you can do whatever you want.”

Her insight remains unsettlingly relevant. When truth is corroded, it is not replaced by another belief—it is replaced by confusion. And confusion, left unchecked, becomes the perfect soil for control.

Hannah Arendt (1906–1975), a German-born historian and philosopher, spent her life examining how freedom is undone not just by violence, but by the quiet decay of truth itself.